Letters to Jacob

((Ok, to all fans of A Notebook, I'm still writing in that. I've just got some major writer's block at the moment and this came along.))



Dear Jacob,

Why me? Why us? These two questions have been rolling around in my head since that terrible day 10 years ago. Why were we the mistake? I wish I could see you. 38 more days and you’re coming home. 10 days after that you’re going back. I suppose there no use in sending this; it will just be lost in the mail. But in my mind I think if you see this, there is still hope. Hope for us and our safety, hope for the world.

Love,
Your sister Smoke.



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I walk into the lab where my mommy works with Jacob. He is eight and I am five. Mommy told us that today we are going on an adventure together. The lady who works in the waiting room leads us to an all white room. She has me sit on at table next to Jacob who holds my hand. The lady gives me a sucker and stares at Jacob for a long moment and he nods slightly. I wonder what he’s thinking. I shrug it off mentally and continue licking my sucker. The lady walks behind a glass wall that separates us from her and a few lab people. They give us the thumbs up as a beam of light surrounds us. I grip Jacob’s hand tighter but he remains unchanged like he’s been trained for this moment all of his life. The beam surrounds us shimmering like fairy dust and I watch it entranced. All of the sudden we are falling and we then hit the earth with a soft thump. We are outside of a castle, princesses must live here. Jacob leads me into the castle where a king is standing. He looks us up and down and calls for a maid to take us to our ‘chambers’. All the while I’m innocent to what is happening.

I wake up panting. This is the same dream I have every night of my journey here. The year is 2089. I didn’t sign up to be here my mom signed me up. My brother and I are testing the 2010’s theory of time travel. It worked. Except that a lot of stuff changed.

For starters, Antarctica is no longer frozen. It’s like any other continent now. And the entire world lives in a monarchy and our life-style bares a striking resemblance to medieval Europe’s, with a few adjustments. But let me back up a bit. There is a king who rules the world, and know it’s not all evil and stuff he’s actually not half bad. Then each continent has a sort of minor king who’s in charge of them under the King’s laws. And then each country/state has a king. And then each kingdom has a king. Same way works for Mars. Yeah, they made life possible there.

The adjustments I talked about are simple. We have space stations for the select few that every year are moved to Mars. But they have to learn how to use the oxygen tanks and other forms of stuff up there. That’s what my brother Jacob teaches. He has a knack at it, I guess. While he is doing that in what used to be Asia, I am at the head King’s palace as a cook. Don’t ask me how I got the short end of the stick, I just did.

Actually, he’s not the head king. Z is, but he lives on Pluto and no one can go to him. He pod casts to us. Don’t ask me how he does it.

Oh, and if you’re wondering Mars isn’t at all like Earth. They are more advanced than you could imagine. Flying cars, swimming cars. I should shut-up. You’re starting to know too much and I don’t want you guys to get ahead of yourselves.

As you can guess I miss my brother terribly, I only get to see him once a week through pod casts and once a year in person for ten days. Two days until pod cast, thirty-eight days until I see him for real. But I have gotten an idea, even though he’ll never get them I am going to write him letters and send them in the mail with no address. Who knows maybe he’ll get them. But while I have explained this out I have lost my time to shower (another adjustment to their lifestyle in the future.) so I must get dressed because I really don’t feel like getting yelled at today.

I jump out of bed and run over to my small chest of drawers. I pull out a corset, a slip, a dress, an apron, and a hat and close the drawer silently. I pulled on the layers of clothes as I have had for the last ten, soon to be eleven, years.

I pull on my boots and lace them up quickly before slipping out of my bedroom and downstairs. Every step sounds like a gun-shot in the silence of the castle but I know no one can hear me. I slip into the kitchen tying my hair back into a knot as I do so. Oh goodie, I get transferring students today. Basically, it’s a bunch of twelve year olds learning to cook before their shipped of to be other kings and queens cooks.

I look at the three of them. One is medium height and slender. Her coal black hair is cut into a short bob with bangs that nearly cover her black eyes. She is tan and appears that she could’ve been from a well-off family judging by her eye contact and I’m-better-than-you posture. The second girl looks Irish; she has creamy white skin with fiery red hair and emerald green eyes. She looks like she could be a bit poor because she keeps breaking eye contact and looks very skittish. The third girl is naturally tan with dark thick brown hair and brown eyes. She doesn’t look poor or rich.

I don’t take a moments hesitation and begin giving them jobs for breakfast. The girl with the bob is making sausage, the tan girl is making eggs, and the Irish girl is helping me make bread.

The Irish girl and I pound out the dough in silence; the only noise is the sizzling of the eggs and bacon. I stop her pounding and put the pan in the oven (another adjustment) and whistle softly as it bakes.

A while later everything is done and I tell the girls wash up so they can bring the food out. I pull out four clay plates for us and five of the good plates for the people dining. For us, I put the heels of the two loaves of bread on our plates, followed by a sausage a piece, and finally a small bit of egg. This will be enough until I know what we have from the leftovers. On the good plates I put down two pieces of bread, three sausages, and two eggs.

The girls come back clean and I hand them the plates telling them to be careful as they go out and present them. They all make it back without tripping which I am incredibly grateful for. I hand them their plates. All of them look grateful except for the girl with the bob and I don’t give her the satisfaction of asking her if something’s wrong. She’s going to have to learn how things work around here.

We have a good amount of left-overs so we all get the same amount I put on the first round of plates for the others. I eat the breakfast quickly knowing I need to skedaddle if I want to start Jacob’s letter and get back in time to start lunch.

I run upstairs leaving the girls to talk amongst themselves. I slip into my room and grab a quill, an inkpot, and a piece of parchment. I take a deep breath and begin my letter.



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Dear Jacob,
I remember before we came here how you got a tattoo. I know why you did now; everything you do to alter your appearance in 2010 became permanent in 2089. That’s why mom got me green colored contacts since I had always wanted green eyes.

I remember the tattoo clearly, it was forever written in curly script across your right bicep. Although back then it was more of a scrawny kindergarten arm. I remember, it was just about a month before we came here and a few days later we were sitting in a park together. I remember asking you if your tattoo hurt to get and I remember you saying yes. But then you said that you didn’t mind the pain so much because the thought of something lasting forever interested you. I remember thinking later that you seemed too little to have one and I wondered why you got it. I know now though. Mom had told you the secret and you knew it was your only chance, so she let you get one. I know you regret it now, but I think it makes sense. It’s an interesting thought of something lasting forever. I truly hope you get this Jacob.

Love you forever,
Your Sister Smoke.


I fold the letter and place it in an envelope. I walk outside and casually drop it into the letters to be sent basket next to the maid’s chambers. I walk back downstairs to begin on breakfast when I hear something.

I stop and listen. It’s the King’s voice, and his wife’s. It sounds like he’s arguing. Heart pounding I slip off my shoes and pick them up. I tip-toe over to his chamber’s door and put my ear against it.

“Darling, this is completely uncalled for.” That’s the King.

“It is completely called for that little brat!” That’s his wife. The sentence is followed by a door slamming.

“Darling be-” I don’t hear the rest because he too entered their bathroom (another adjustment, only for royalty).

Heart hammering even harder I open their door silently and creep over to their bathroom door. I press my ear against it.

“Be reasonable!” The wife shrieks causing me to wince silently. “You be reasonable Herald! She is a nuisance.”

“Smoke is most defiantly not a nuisance.” The King says and I praise him for that. “She is one of our best cooks.”

“She stole my bracelet!” His wife shrieks. I did not! That was Genevieve the maid. And she was only trying to pay for her brother’s education.

“You have no evidence.” He roared and I praised him some more.

“What evidence do I need, Herald! She stole it! Period!” She screamed. Then her footsteps started to the door.

I leapt up heart hammering so hard I feared it would burst out of my chest. I look around and dash under their bed. She walks swiftly out of the room each step calming me more.

I ease my head out and see the King is now in the main bedroom area. I slide back under as he paces in front of my hiding spot.

I suddenly have the urge to sneeze. Just when I think it’s passed, it happens. Soft but there.

The King walks towards the bed and I roll back fast hitting my head on the wall and slip into unconsciousness.



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I wake up against the wall still underneath the King’s bed. That is good, that means he did not see me. I look out and see pale moon light streaking the floor I crawl out and see the King and Queen laying in bed asleep. I tip-toe out of their room and just as I turn to go down the hall to my room I run into something. I stumble back and fall on my bottom.

I look up expecting to see one of the King’s security guards but instead I see James. “James.” I hiss. “What are you doing out at this time of night?”

“I was just about to ask you the same question.” He whispers.

“I was washing up some clothes and his majesty wanted me to use the washer. I accidentally nodded off and now I’m leaving before he finds out.” I whisper. “Now answer my question.”

“I was going to ask you if you’d like to accompany me for a walk. But you were not in your room so I was heading back to my room. Since you are here, would you care to take a walk?”

“Sure. Just, let me change real quick.” I whisper running past him towards my room.

You are probably wondering what just happened back there. You see, I like him, he likes me. We just won’t admit it to each other. So that’s that in a nut shell. I enter my room quietly and go over to the chest of drawers. I change into my cotton night gown and wrap a shawl around my shoulders. I slip on a pair of moccasins and tip-toe back outside.

I find James at the door that leads out the side nearest the ocean. Yup, the King likes the coast apparently. He smiles at me and opens the door open with a soft swoosh. I jump at the sound but he puts his hand on my shoulder and I calm down. He steers me outside and follows me with another soft swoosh as he closes the door.

We walk along the shore in silence hands occasionally brushing together. Suddenly he stopped, I stopped too. He closed the space between us with to long strides and his arm went around me. Instinctively I hit at him but he moved my arms down and I calmed. He leaned down towards me to kiss me and I let him up until the wave crashed against my legs and sent me backwards into the water.

I looked up at him, eyes wide like a child caught doing something she shouldn’t. I shouldn’t be here. This isn’t right. I stand up and begin to run despite my sopping wet clothes his hand caught my arm. I shake it off and keep running.

I find my way back to my room and pull my wet black hair out of the braid. I run my fingers through it loosening the knots and lay back on my bed staring at the ceiling. I think of when it was me and James. His tall six foot towering over my small five foot two, his muscular build protecting my slim frame, his pale blonde hair silver in the moonlight blowing towards my black, his blue all-seeing eyes searching my green ones. I needed to stop, thinking of him was an addiction I could get quickly and a terrible pain I could have if he left. They had been talking about sending him to the space station with my brother.

This love was not going to work and I had to stop telling myself I could make it.



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Dear Jacob,

Do you remember when I was two and you were five the fist day you started kindergarten? Do you remember how I was so scared that you were leaving and you wouldn’t be home to protect me? I remember mom told me not to be scared that you would be back. I remember how that day seemed to drag on forever and you finally came back. I ran all the way to the bus stop to see you.
I remember how the days seemed to get shorter and you would be home sooner. I wish it was that way now. I wish every year when you leave the year would seem to go by faster and I would see you again. But sometimes it seems the year gets longer. I wish I could see you again.

Love you forever,
Your sister Smoke

I seal up the envelope and put it in my pocket. I stand up from my under-sized desk and walk to the door. I open it up and slip the letter into the mail to be sent basket before going to the showers.

I get into the shower and turn on the water letting it wash over me. Letting it clean me and wipe away the memory of last night. I shower quickly and turn off the water. For a moment I just stand there thinking.

I shake my head as if to shake out the memory of James. I walk out of the shower and pull my clothes on quickly. I brush my hair and then my teeth. I take a last look in the tiny dirty mirror and leave the communal bathroom.

I walk down into the kitchen where I am surprised to see James. “James?”

“Smoke.” He says with a nod.

“What are you doing down here?” I ask confused.

“Well, there’s not much use for a gardener in the fall besides trying to keep things green as long as possible, so I asked his majesty to study up on the art of cooking during my break. And he told me there is no better teacher than you and to report down here at seven a.m. to prepare breakfast with you.” He explains.

“Fine, your first official task of cook-in-training is to fry bacon.” I say.

“Cook-in-training? Is that my official title?” He asks with a grin.

“Until I can think of a better one.” I say in all seriousness getting eggs.

We cook in silence for a moment until Jack comes in. Jack is one of the kings knights and is like my big brother. “Don’t tell me you’re here to learn how to cook too.”

“Nope, just want some breakfast.” He says standing next to me.

“Don’t you have your own kitchen in your barracks?” I ask.

“Yes I do, but I wanted to visit you.” He says.

“Well visiting hours are over so shoo.” I say bumping his hip with mine trying to make him leave.

“Friendly, aren’t we?” He asks halfway smirking.

“Shush.” I say transferring the eggs to a plate.

“C’mon, I want to visit you for five minutes and you give me the cold shoulder. She isn’t very nice is she, James?” he says.

“Nope, tsk, tsk, Smoke.” He says grinning again.

I roll my eyes and pull out plates and begin to serve food onto them. I hand the plates to Jack “You’re serving.”

“Okay.” He says walking out to the table. I serve Jack, James and I some food and hand James his plate.

“Thank you.” He says taking the plate.

We eat in silence for a moment. “So…” He says.

“So what?”

“About last night….”

“What about it?” I ask pretending I don’t know what he’s talking about. Luckily Jack saves me by coming in at that moment. James gives me a look saying, ‘we’re not through’.



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I found out trying to avoid someone isn’t as easy as you think it is. You have to keep changing hiding spots to more uncomfortable hiding spots or you had to walk in one direction a long ways so you’d be far away from them. Right now I am walking.

My shoes leave imprints in the soft sand but I didn’t care right now. I need to get away, and I am lucky because today I could. The King and Queen had a lunch with another king in Antarctica and then they’d probably be partying all night. I keep walking until the castle got smaller and the wall of the courtyard got bigger.

The wall inspired me. I picked up my skirt so it I could run better and ran towards the wall. I slowed down to a walk when I was a yard or so away. I came all the way up to it so there are only a few inches between us.

I pounded on the wall hard. “Hello?!” I shouted. This time I yelled louder and pounded harder “HELLO?!”

No answer. Not that I expected one. I only wish I knew what is out there. The last time I was out there I was five just after I got transported here. Jacob always came to me I never went to him. If I ever needed something one of the nights would go out to get it. The only ‘outside world’ I have seen is the ocean and the sky, and I really don’t think that counts.

Being so absorbed by the wall blocking me gave James the perfect opportunity to sneak up on me and he took it. “Hi!” He said.

I jumped turning towards him eyes wide. He laughed “Calm down. It’s just me.”

I rolled my eyes “And that makes me feel so much better.” I said brushing past him and walking towards the castle.

His hand grabbed for my wrist and I stopped. “What?” I snapped.

“About last night-”

“About last night! Don’t get me started about last night!” I yell. “Who was the one that kissed me?” I say hitting my finger in the middle of his chest causing him to stumble backwards. “Who was the one that tried to keep me back after I started running?” I hit him in the chest again. “And who keeps bringing it up ripping a whole in our friendship wider and wider?” I ask hitting him in the chest a final time causing him to stumble onto the wall.

“You.” I say turning to walk away.

“Is it really just a friendship, Smoke?” I hear him whisper.



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