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 The Three

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TEAMSTARKgirl98763
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The Three Empty
PostSubject: The Three   The Three EmptyWed Feb 10, 2010 1:31 pm

(first of all to thoughs who read this if its like a book or tv show that you have read/watched dont get mad at me coz i probably havent and the narator person is going to be in red)

"good night mom" i said

"good night hun" my mom said

then she went to bed. if only Vitani knew what waited for her in her derams

in the deram...

there was fire everywhere. it was so hot i was almost burning

now Vitani dosent know this but she was in hell

i backed up into a wall . well it was nt a wall but a rock, actually there were rocks everywhere. some seeping lava, some steam, but rocks all the same

"welcome" he said

i jumped. i was too scared to talk so i just stared. he was beautful and deadly at the same time. he was pale and wore jeans and a black t-shirt, black hair and glowing red eyes.

i realized he was waiting for me to speak.

"wha-who are you?"

(hope you like it!)
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The Three Empty
PostSubject: Re: The Three   The Three EmptyThu Feb 11, 2010 2:00 pm

I think it's a great start, keep going with it.
-Ageless Like a Star @ heaven
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PostSubject: Re: The Three   The Three EmptyThu Feb 11, 2010 6:43 pm

that is great i luv it keep writeing.
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PostSubject: Re: The Three   The Three EmptyThu Feb 11, 2010 6:51 pm

yes keep it going any book or storie about hell is a good story espeacilly Dante's Inferno
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PostSubject: Re: The Three   The Three EmptyThu Feb 11, 2010 7:05 pm

thank you

also keep in mind that Vitani is like 3 and shes in a world where your mentle(sp) age matures faster than your body
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PostSubject: Re: The Three   The Three EmptyThu Feb 11, 2010 7:55 pm

heres the next bit

"no what you were going to say is the right question. what i am is a demon, who i am is... well thats not important what is important is what your doing here" he smiled

his smile sent shivers up my spine "well, why am i here then?"

"i was waiting for you to ask that"

then he was suddenly in front of me. i was against the wall so i couldnt escape. i was so scared. he nealed down and put his hands on my shoulders and all i could think was oh my god, hes going to kill me!

turned out he didnt kill her, just hurt her a little (what i actually mean is a lot) anyway back to vitani...

i screamed. it hurt so much. i felt my start movie. i cant really explain it, it was like my puples were being streched and it HURT! i also felt my canines getting longer till they bit into my bottom lip. i screamed again and then i woke up
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PostSubject: Re: The Three   The Three EmptyThu Feb 11, 2010 8:51 pm

whoa that is good but creepy.
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PostSubject: Re: The Three   The Three EmptyThu Feb 11, 2010 9:40 pm

i looked around the room it was just a dream, just a dream i tried to reassure mysel. but it all seemed so real...thats when my mom came rushing in my room

"whats the matter?" she looked frantic

i was calmish now "nothing mom" i said without emotion so my fear wouldnt show

"are you sure? you look paler than you usually are and your eyes look wired and "

"mom" i cut her off "im fine" she can be so annoying

"ok,,,"she didnt seem convinced but went back to her room

i sighed when my mom left and turned on my light went up to my mirror and gasped my eyes were red and slitted, i was as pale as a ghost. what the hell? i thought. my mouth was hanging open too so i saw the fangs also. i went paler than i already was. i ran to my bed and sat in the middle of it, thinking. i did that till my alarm clock went off and when it did i jumped and fell off my bed
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PostSubject: Re: The Three   The Three EmptySun Feb 14, 2010 1:21 pm

OHH!!! I LOVE IT!!!!! It is so cool!! She is a vampire!!
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PostSubject: Re: The Three   The Three EmptySun Feb 14, 2010 1:22 pm

kind ya Very Happy
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PostSubject: Re: The Three   The Three EmptySun Feb 14, 2010 1:24 pm

oh. Anyways I like it!!! Very Happy Very Happy Very Happy Very Happy Very Happy Very Happy Very Happy Very Happy Very Happy Very Happy Very Happy Very Happy Very Happy Very Happy
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PostSubject: Re: The Three   The Three EmptySun Feb 14, 2010 1:27 pm

lol thank you Smile im wrighing more now but its only a little bit...want me to post it now?
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PostSubject: Re: The Three   The Three EmptySun Feb 14, 2010 3:17 pm

YEs please!!
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PostSubject: Re: The Three   The Three EmptySun Feb 14, 2010 4:57 pm

I LOVE IT!!! OMGGGG POST MORE!!!!!
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PostSubject: Re: The Three   The Three EmptySun Feb 14, 2010 5:04 pm

ok

i got up and looked at my nightmare before christmas calender. oh great, its saturday. i guess i forget to turn it off last night... i went and turned it off. then i went and looked in the mirror again. i groned. my eyes were still red but thankfully the fangs went away how am i going to hide his from my mom? then i got an idea. i got dressed, took my sunglasses from my nightstand and went to get the phone

"vitani, why do you have your sunglasses on?" my mom asked when i came out of my room

"because im going out" was all i said as i piced up the phone and called simon.
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PostSubject: Re: The Three   The Three EmptySun Feb 14, 2010 5:26 pm

i like it lol =)
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PostSubject: Re: The Three   The Three EmptySun Feb 14, 2010 5:35 pm

I think it is very good so far! I am a bit confused by this...
Quote :
also keep in mind that Vitani is like 3 and shes in a world where your mentle(sp) age matures faster than your body
I would think she was older for her mom to act like she does with her. I think your style of writing is fantastic though and I can't wait for more. I love the way you are in the story and at the same time, you are having the story told to you! Greatness!
-Ageless Like a Star @ heaven
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PostSubject: Re: The Three   The Three EmptySun Feb 14, 2010 5:39 pm

Very Happy thank you
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PostSubject: Re: The Three   The Three EmptySun Feb 14, 2010 7:54 pm

simon P.O.V

"hey vitani, whats up?" i said. i sounded scared even to myself

"whats up?" she laughed a little "ill tell you whats up but only if we go to the place, call nick and tell him to go there too"

"ok" i said but she already hung up "doesnt anyone say 'good bye' anymore?" i hung up too then called nick and told him to come to the place

"mom im going out for a while" i said as i came out of my room with my sunglasses on. she didnt answer. of course she didnt answer, she was always too drunk all the time to do anything. i walked out the door going to the place
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PostSubject: Re: The Three   The Three EmptySun Feb 14, 2010 8:44 pm

AWSOME!! ME loves it!! I want more! Please
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PostSubject: Re: The Three   The Three EmptySun Feb 14, 2010 8:45 pm

i dont have all tht much right now tho...
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PostSubject: Re: The Three   The Three EmptySun Feb 14, 2010 10:35 pm

LUV IT!!!!!!
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PostSubject: Re: The Three   The Three EmptyMon Feb 15, 2010 6:51 pm

thank you
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PostSubject: Re: The Three   The Three EmptyMon Feb 15, 2010 6:52 pm

ok ima change their ages they r 13 now i guess...
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PostSubject: Re: The Three   The Three EmptyMon Feb 15, 2010 6:53 pm

yea that would make more sense/
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