| | some of my poems |  |
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+5*PrincessOfDarkness* Hex SweetBlood Zoey Redbird Zmirazz 9 posters |
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Zmirazz
Temporary Mod
  
Age : 33
Posts : 7494
Location : somewhere! i'm lost
Join date : 2010-09-23
Character sheet
Name: Demona
Age: 20
Affinities : fire,air,earth and spirit
| | Subject: Re: some of my poems Fri May 06, 2011 6:50 pm | |
| Wearing a mask
How does my soul feel is what they ask
To tell them the entire truth is my task
Weak my heart is or isn't they wonder
Giving them smiles, I try not to answer
Pretending everything is fine is now a habit
I know the day will come and I’ll pay for it
Exposed to my circle my lies one day will be
My feelings secretly kept make their worries flee
How do I tell them the truth, I have to learn
To hear one word, my confidence they have to earn
Weak is not what I am, alone I just wish to be
Giving them a reason to leave, they don't bail on me
Pretending exist no more, to lose them I wouldn't bear
I stand and whisper, the smile you see is just a mask I wear
Exposed in front of them, my heart showed its true color
My soul is on fire, but I’m not facing alone the world's terror | |
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Zoey Redbird
Trying to stop war
 
Age : 32
Posts : 7265
Location : somewere dark, beautiful were the moon is shining waitting for you to come
Join date : 2009-08-01
Character sheet
Name: Sarah Belle
Age: 18
Affinities : spirit, water, earth, wind, and fire
| | Subject: Re: some of my poems Mon May 09, 2011 1:04 pm | |
| i loved the last one, its truthfull , amazing job girl!!  | |
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Zmirazz
Temporary Mod
Age : 33
Posts : 7494
Location : somewhere! i'm lost
Join date : 2010-09-23
Character sheet
Name: Demona
Age: 20
Affinities : fire,air,earth and spirit
| | Subject: Re: some of my poems Mon May 09, 2011 5:11 pm | |
| 10x! its how i've been for a while:) <3 | |
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Livi
Going to the House of Night
 
Age : 28
Posts : 112
Location : England
Join date : 2011-03-26
Character sheet
Name: Olivia Rose
Age: 16
Affinities : Close to cats and air, poems.
| | Subject: Re: some of my poems Wed May 18, 2011 6:26 pm | |
| Spirt has left,
The change has begun,
Deeds catch up,
To the lies you spun.
<3 | |
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Zmirazz
Temporary Mod
Age : 33
Posts : 7494
Location : somewhere! i'm lost
Join date : 2010-09-23
Character sheet
Name: Demona
Age: 20
Affinities : fire,air,earth and spirit
| | Subject: Re: some of my poems Thu May 19, 2011 2:47 pm | |
| waw i liked your words and actually its like you read my mind!! 10x! | |
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*~Dreamer~*
Combining your affinities to save the day
Age : 28
Posts : 2240
Location : Place where I can be away from loneliness.
Join date : 2009-07-14
Character sheet
Name:
Age:
Affinities :
| | Subject: Re: some of my poems Thu Jul 07, 2011 9:23 am | |
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Zmirazz
Temporary Mod
Age : 33
Posts : 7494
Location : somewhere! i'm lost
Join date : 2010-09-23
Character sheet
Name: Demona
Age: 20
Affinities : fire,air,earth and spirit
| | Subject: Re: some of my poems Thu Jul 07, 2011 2:25 pm | |
| i will as soon as i write more! plus you read them all on the other site lool:D | |
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Zmirazz
Temporary Mod
Age : 33
Posts : 7494
Location : somewhere! i'm lost
Join date : 2010-09-23
Character sheet
Name: Demona
Age: 20
Affinities : fire,air,earth and spirit
| | Subject: Re: some of my poems Thu Aug 04, 2011 7:18 pm | |
| Betrayed
Hatred I feel when her eyes I meet
Anger holds me and I can’t move my feet
Calm I should remain and not avenge myself
Your thoughts should be kept to yourself
Those words are flying through my mind
Destroyed, I forgot how it is to be kind
Her glazing eyes had what they wanted
With the fear of what’s to come I’m hunted
Betrayed is being staked through the heart
Heartless creature now I’ll have a new start
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*~Dreamer~*
Combining your affinities to save the day
Age : 28
Posts : 2240
Location : Place where I can be away from loneliness.
Join date : 2009-07-14
Character sheet
Name:
Age:
Affinities :
| | Subject: Re: some of my poems Fri Aug 05, 2011 8:47 am | |
| I don't know, this raked up some sort of sleeping spirit within me. i feel strongly for this write, but have no idea how to bring it across.
erm... lets' just put it, i think it spoke not only for itself, it spoke for a greater group of people
'Destroyed, I forgot how it is to be kind' I adore this line. It's way of writing that i seldom cross.
In fact, it is another reason why i like this write so much, this write is a rare piece of read by itself because its writing style is so unusual... it's so unlike your previous write. like a great big jump! I like the difference in style. It somewhat parallels Shakespeare's method of writing. puting the emotions before the actions/ descriptions, makes it more artistic.
only area of improvement is the title. maybe leave it titleless or give it another title. because this is an exquisite write, the title is blant, boring and lacks emotional contact with the writer. I would leave it blank if I cannot find a title. It's difficult sometimes to find a title, so just leaving it empty is good too. We don't always have to title our poems and not all poems require a title. | |
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Zmirazz
Temporary Mod
Age : 33
Posts : 7494
Location : somewhere! i'm lost
Join date : 2010-09-23
Character sheet
Name: Demona
Age: 20
Affinities : fire,air,earth and spirit
| | Subject: Re: some of my poems Fri Aug 05, 2011 1:15 pm | |
| thank you Ger!!! i'll think about another title if i can't find one i'll leave it blank.i'm glad you liked it.its one of my favorite.as for the style I really like that style but i can't seem to write all my poems like that.and it happens when i least intend it/maybe that's what makes it special
thank you again!! | |
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Sak-Chan
Trying to stop war
 
Age : 27
Posts : 77791
Location : First Year of collage here I come
Join date : 2010-02-25
Character sheet
Name: Maria Silversong
Age: 16
Affinities : Air. death.
| | Subject: Re: some of my poems Fri Aug 05, 2011 2:13 pm | |
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Zmirazz
Temporary Mod
Age : 33
Posts : 7494
Location : somewhere! i'm lost
Join date : 2010-09-23
Character sheet
Name: Demona
Age: 20
Affinities : fire,air,earth and spirit
| | Subject: Re: some of my poems Fri Aug 05, 2011 2:17 pm | |
| thank you!!! i'll read them right away! | |
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Zmirazz
Temporary Mod
Age : 33
Posts : 7494
Location : somewhere! i'm lost
Join date : 2010-09-23
Character sheet
Name: Demona
Age: 20
Affinities : fire,air,earth and spirit
| | Subject: Re: some of my poems Fri Aug 05, 2011 4:02 pm | |
| Rid of you
Different I thought you were
But apart my heart you tear
Though I have given you trust
You made my lonely soul rust
I had walls all around my heart
Going through was really hard
For our love I broke them down
You came in and took my crown
I promised to be your queen
Your eyes were tenderly keen
You promised it’ll be perfect
But instead it was all wrecked
You didn’t deserve what I did
Of you my heart has gotten rid
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*~Dreamer~*
Combining your affinities to save the day
Age : 28
Posts : 2240
Location : Place where I can be away from loneliness.
Join date : 2009-07-14
Character sheet
Name:
Age:
Affinities :
| | Subject: Re: some of my poems Sat Aug 06, 2011 8:40 am | |
| it isn't like i don't want to comment this poem, but i think i've commented it on the other side. your rhyme is good, still, as always. >< | |
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Zmirazz
Temporary Mod
Age : 33
Posts : 7494
Location : somewhere! i'm lost
Join date : 2010-09-23
Character sheet
Name: Demona
Age: 20
Affinities : fire,air,earth and spirit
| | Subject: Re: some of my poems Sat Aug 06, 2011 8:44 am | |
| lool yes you have! hhahaha and thank you Ger! | |
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*~Dreamer~*
Combining your affinities to save the day
Age : 28
Posts : 2240
Location : Place where I can be away from loneliness.
Join date : 2009-07-14
Character sheet
Name:
Age:
Affinities :
| | Subject: Re: some of my poems Mon Aug 08, 2011 9:22 am | |
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Amber Rae
Sending for Water from the West
Age : 26
Posts : 3302
Join date : 2011-06-14
Character sheet
Name: Kareanna
Age: 17
Affinities : air, fire, water, earth, spirit
| | Subject: Re: some of my poems Mon Aug 08, 2011 9:38 am | |
| I love it sis your really good!!!!!!!!!!!!!! | |
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Zmirazz
Temporary Mod
Age : 33
Posts : 7494
Location : somewhere! i'm lost
Join date : 2010-09-23
Character sheet
Name: Demona
Age: 20
Affinities : fire,air,earth and spirit
| | Subject: Re: some of my poems Mon Aug 08, 2011 2:50 pm | |
| thank you hun!!!its nice of you to have stopped by lool | |
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Zmirazz
Temporary Mod
Age : 33
Posts : 7494
Location : somewhere! i'm lost
Join date : 2010-09-23
Character sheet
Name: Demona
Age: 20
Affinities : fire,air,earth and spirit
| | Subject: Re: some of my poems Fri Aug 19, 2011 9:53 am | |
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FLY
To this fate I’m forever chained
From my face the color is drained
These chains hold my hands tightly
But your eyes are shining brightly
You don’t have to stay with me
Fly away and high fly from me
Go to a world without boredom
Go away, fly toward your freedom
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Amber Rae
Sending for Water from the West
Age : 26
Posts : 3302
Join date : 2011-06-14
Character sheet
Name: Kareanna
Age: 17
Affinities : air, fire, water, earth, spirit
| | Subject: Re: some of my poems Fri Aug 19, 2011 12:02 pm | |
| awwwww i love it  | |
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Zmirazz
Temporary Mod
Age : 33
Posts : 7494
Location : somewhere! i'm lost
Join date : 2010-09-23
Character sheet
Name: Demona
Age: 20
Affinities : fire,air,earth and spirit
| | Subject: Re: some of my poems Fri Aug 19, 2011 5:04 pm | |
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| | Subject: Re: some of my poems | |
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| | some of my poems | |
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