| | Jessica's poems |  |
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+7Saura ZoeRedbird Utopias' Girl Emo Kitty vampirechild Zoey Redbird JCP1987 11 posters |
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JCP1987
Eavesdropping on her conversation
  
Age : 33
Posts : 3971
Location : In Kalona's closet.
Join date : 2011-03-31
Character sheet
Name: Haruhi Yuki
Age: 16
Affinities : Sword/Judo/Tai quan do
| | Subject: Re: Jessica's poems Sat Apr 30, 2011 12:12 am | |
| you rule my socks Topi, lol that made no sense:oops Thankyou Zoe you rock too.  | |
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Emo Kitty
Admin
 
Age : 29
Posts : 13422
Location : Cross Academy
Join date : 2010-04-14
Character sheet
Name: Luna Moon
Age: 19
Affinities : Fire, Darkness
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JCP1987
Eavesdropping on her conversation
Age : 33
Posts : 3971
Location : In Kalona's closet.
Join date : 2011-03-31
Character sheet
Name: Haruhi Yuki
Age: 16
Affinities : Sword/Judo/Tai quan do
| | Subject: Re: Jessica's poems Sat Apr 30, 2011 11:36 am | |
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Emo Kitty
Admin
Age : 29
Posts : 13422
Location : Cross Academy
Join date : 2010-04-14
Character sheet
Name: Luna Moon
Age: 19
Affinities : Fire, Darkness
| | Subject: Re: Jessica's poems Sat Apr 30, 2011 11:51 am | |
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Saura
Mod
Age : 29
Posts : 3937
Location : Sword Art Online
Join date : 2011-04-04
Character sheet
Name: Saura
Age: 17
Affinities : Electricity
| | Subject: Re: Jessica's poems Sat Apr 30, 2011 3:13 pm | |
| Your poems are really gooood. I love them  Alsooo Awwww. You're so sweet. I didn't know i was funny? lulz. Thanks love.  | |
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JCP1987
Eavesdropping on her conversation
Age : 33
Posts : 3971
Location : In Kalona's closet.
Join date : 2011-03-31
Character sheet
Name: Haruhi Yuki
Age: 16
Affinities : Sword/Judo/Tai quan do
| | Subject: Re: Jessica's poems Sat Apr 30, 2011 3:42 pm | |
| Thankyou
hehe yes you are very funny
welcome Chicka la rue. | |
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vampirechild
Accidentally blowing your friends over with Air
 
Age : 25
Posts : 340
Location : turn around, im right behind you
Join date : 2011-03-28
Character sheet
Name: Sita
Age: 12
Affinities : water, fire
| | Subject: Re: Jessica's poems Sat Apr 30, 2011 6:02 pm | |
| Omg Jessia i didn't know you wrote poems! Thease are really good!  | |
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JCP1987
Eavesdropping on her conversation
Age : 33
Posts : 3971
Location : In Kalona's closet.
Join date : 2011-03-31
Character sheet
Name: Haruhi Yuki
Age: 16
Affinities : Sword/Judo/Tai quan do
| | Subject: Re: Jessica's poems Sat Apr 30, 2011 7:17 pm | |
| hehe thanks did you notice i added you in the friends poems. | |
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vampirechild
Accidentally blowing your friends over with Air
Age : 25
Posts : 340
Location : turn around, im right behind you
Join date : 2011-03-28
Character sheet
Name: Sita
Age: 12
Affinities : water, fire
| | Subject: Re: Jessica's poems Sat Apr 30, 2011 7:40 pm | |
| Oh, yes it's really good thank you! And I do tell the truth a lot. | |
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JCP1987
Eavesdropping on her conversation
Age : 33
Posts : 3971
Location : In Kalona's closet.
Join date : 2011-03-31
Character sheet
Name: Haruhi Yuki
Age: 16
Affinities : Sword/Judo/Tai quan do
| | Subject: Re: Jessica's poems Sat Apr 30, 2011 9:05 pm | |
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Midnight Demon
Trying to stop war
Age : 26
Posts : 23496
Location : Take a guess ; )
Join date : 2010-04-10
Character sheet
Name: Rosalina
Age: 15
Affinities : Writing Poetry, Dream Walker
| | Subject: Re: Jessica's poems Sat Apr 30, 2011 11:13 pm | |
| I love your poems. there all so great. Keep Writing. | |
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JCP1987
Eavesdropping on her conversation
Age : 33
Posts : 3971
Location : In Kalona's closet.
Join date : 2011-03-31
Character sheet
Name: Haruhi Yuki
Age: 16
Affinities : Sword/Judo/Tai quan do
| | Subject: Re: Jessica's poems Sun May 01, 2011 12:52 am | |
| Thankyou.
did you liek that i added you? | |
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JCP1987
Eavesdropping on her conversation
Age : 33
Posts : 3971
Location : In Kalona's closet.
Join date : 2011-03-31
Character sheet
Name: Haruhi Yuki
Age: 16
Affinities : Sword/Judo/Tai quan do
| | Subject: Re: Jessica's poems Tue May 10, 2011 3:14 pm | |
| The sun shines the first time
my heart is finaly healing
i'm forgetting him little by little
he has no more sway over me
i look to the furure with hope
hope that i will find that someone
i have healed with the help of my friends
the friends of the house of nite site
friends that make me laugh
friends that make me see
i am not a lost cause and i will heal
The sun shines for the first time. | |
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ZoeRedbird
Mod
 
Age : 28
Posts : 9363
Location : Somewhere wearing a Deadpool costume
Join date : 2011-02-28
Character sheet
Name: Dock
Age: 18
Affinities : Telepathy
| | Subject: Re: Jessica's poems Fri May 20, 2011 7:11 pm | |
| thats brilliant!
you are really good Jess | |
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JCP1987
Eavesdropping on her conversation
Age : 33
Posts : 3971
Location : In Kalona's closet.
Join date : 2011-03-31
Character sheet
Name: Haruhi Yuki
Age: 16
Affinities : Sword/Judo/Tai quan do
| | Subject: Re: Jessica's poems Mon May 23, 2011 5:02 pm | |
| thankies  | |
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Midnight Demon
Trying to stop war
Age : 26
Posts : 23496
Location : Take a guess ; )
Join date : 2010-04-10
Character sheet
Name: Rosalina
Age: 15
Affinities : Writing Poetry, Dream Walker
| | Subject: Re: Jessica's poems Sun Jun 05, 2011 11:57 pm | |
| yea i love it! and yea i do like that you added me | |
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Livi
Going to the House of Night
Age : 28
Posts : 112
Location : England
Join date : 2011-03-26
Character sheet
Name: Olivia Rose
Age: 16
Affinities : Close to cats and air, poems.
| | Subject: Re: Jessica's poems Mon Jun 06, 2011 12:54 pm | |
| Love for the first two poems <3 | |
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Ninjagurl
Temporary Mod
Age : 26
Posts : 58364
Location : Everywhere,but nowhere
Join date : 2010-02-10
Character sheet
Name:
Age:
Affinities :
| | Subject: Re: Jessica's poems Thu Jun 16, 2011 1:50 pm | |
| Omg ! Jessie these are so good! Keep writing girl! | |
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JCP1987
Eavesdropping on her conversation
Age : 33
Posts : 3971
Location : In Kalona's closet.
Join date : 2011-03-31
Character sheet
Name: Haruhi Yuki
Age: 16
Affinities : Sword/Judo/Tai quan do
| | Subject: Re: Jessica's poems Fri Jun 17, 2011 6:39 pm | |
| As i wait for the one who my heart belongs to and whose heart belongs to me
I sit in my room in the dark of the night looking up at the Yellow Full moon
I wonder why everyday cannot be this peaceful everywhere
Even thought it is darkness it is also light in the darkness that makes it beautiful
Makes me want to look onto the future that everyone can live in harmony
As long as there is darkness that sets a peaceful setting
When all is said and done the darkness will bring peace
to our hearts and minds as we go through the is thing called life.
I know this poem kind of sucks but it just popped into my head last night when the full moon was out. | |
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JCP1987
Eavesdropping on her conversation
Age : 33
Posts : 3971
Location : In Kalona's closet.
Join date : 2011-03-31
Character sheet
Name: Haruhi Yuki
Age: 16
Affinities : Sword/Judo/Tai quan do
| | Subject: Re: Jessica's poems Sat Jul 02, 2011 6:55 pm | |
| Him
As i sit in my room alone I can't help but think of him.
Him who has healed me and is my heart and soul.
Him who calls me everyday just to check on me.
Him who says he loves me everyday.
Him who makes me laugh.
Him who makes me feel safe and loved.
Him who has me in the palm of his hand.
Him the man i love and respect.
Him who said he would never hurt me.
Him who makes me believe in love again.
Him who makes me live and love each day and night to be his... | |
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*~Dreamer~*
Combining your affinities to save the day
Age : 28
Posts : 2240
Location : Place where I can be away from loneliness.
Join date : 2009-07-14
Character sheet
Name:
Age:
Affinities :
| | Subject: Re: Jessica's poems Thu Jul 07, 2011 9:11 am | |
| Wow. the words 'him who' is a little too glaring IMO.
I know that's what you're driving at, but too much repetition can defeat the purpose.
The message is received by the audience, but it isn't quite that inviting a read.
I prefer the yellow poem without title. it has more imagery, more parallelism and more references to daily life. A little more engaging as a result of its ease of relating to our lives.
Not that 'Him' isn't , just that 'Him' reads like a typical love poem, with no particular uniqueness. A drive and desire, probably passion as well. It doesn't sound quite that loving actually too.. because there're excessive repetition.
sorry that i couldn't offer anything much that is good D: | |
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