My life

I cried from the pain you brought me. I was standing in my room with a razor to my wrist hopeing that it would make all of my pain go away. I had let you do this to me and I blame myself for trusting you. I should have seen that friendships never last. I had no other options and from the first time I cut I was hooked. After what seems like a million cuts all I can feel is the pain from that and nothing else. Everything else is numb to me which is good. I fall asleep clutching my razor. It's my only friend in this world of hate. My only comfort that knows me so well. I wake up the next morning and look at the damage that I have created. I get dressed in a dase and go to school knowing that it will be worse then ever before. I have me razors in my backpack so my parents wouldn't find them but as time went on I was cutting more often but I never thought I would be in public cutting, it was always something that I had done in secret. But it was a monday and it seemed like the worst day ever. My ex best friends had found out I had been cutting and made a big deal about it. When I thought no one was watching me anymore I left the room and grabbed my razor. I went into the girls bathroom and started sliceing my wrists again. I saw the fountain of blood appear and I knew I wouldn't be able to go on with this anymore. I sat there for half an hour before I knew that I would have to go back to class. I cleaned up the blood and pulled down my sleeves. I walked back into class and saw them there, the ones that hurt me so. I walked to the other end of the classroom and sat down. I didn't even try to pay attention to the teacher. When school was finally over I went home said hi to my mom and went to my room. I didn't do my homework and fell behind in all of my classes but I didn't care it was just another thing I failed at. My ex friends would torture me ever chance they got and they found it fun. I had no one to talk to that would unserstand what I was going throught. I just kept becomeing distanter and distanter from everyone. I could tell that it was hurting my family but I couldn't care about that. I was cutting every day and every cut was deeper tehn the next. It was may and I was dreading summer. Summer means it's warm out and I cant wear long sleeves or sweatshirts. I didn't know what I was gonna do but then I decided that I wasn't gonna cut on my arms anymore. I started on my legs. It was easer to hide for now. My life was getting worse, my only friend I had left knew I cut and still talked to me was ditching me for her boyfriend. I started talking to one of her guy friends and I started to like him. When she found out I liked her friend she was mad, so she told him that I was in love with him which was so not true. When he told me she had said that I confronted her about it and she denied ever saying it. I didn't know who to beileive anymore, but I known that my life had finally fallen apart. The final piece had fallen. I finally couldn't bare it anymore. I wrote a suicide note but I couldn't do it. I couldn't put my parents through that. I had failed at that too. I was a failer at life, but I think it is gods joke to see how much bad stuff he could put me through before I finally killed myself. Well I was sick and tired of liveing but I was scared of dieing too. I was trapped, so I'm still liveing in this hell most people call a life. They are right it's a life but a life I wouldn't ever wish to anyone not even my worst enemy.



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