| | Never done this before |  |
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JadeMarie
Being Chosen by Nyx
  
Age : 30
Posts : 26
Location : My own little world....
Join date : 2011-12-19
Character sheet
Name: Jade Marie
Age: 18
Affinities : Controls the Shadows, as well as ice
| | Subject: Never done this before Fri Dec 23, 2011 2:19 am | |
| Okay..so I'm not the very poetic type I started this poem a while ago and just added a few lines to finish... If it's horrible just tell me..lol I probably won't write a lot but i figured eh give it a go Soft smooth skin to fresh raised scars
The pain i wear every day
Is becoming to much to bare
How could you change?
So sweet, perfect, only mine
To rude, ignorant, other girls on your mind
Where did I go wrong
What didn't I do right
I can't help but blame myself
The pain I hide,
Undetecable on my face
Wasn't here at first,
I am such a disgrace
To think that even for a minute
You were mine until the end
All I can think is one more cut
One small simple red line
Will bring my life to the end of time... | |
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ZoeRedbird
Mod
 
Age : 28
Posts : 9363
Location : Somewhere wearing a Deadpool costume
Join date : 2011-02-28
Character sheet
Name: Dock
Age: 18
Affinities : Telepathy
| | Subject: Re: Never done this before Fri Dec 23, 2011 2:24 am | |
| I like it. Soo not horrible in the least. a lil sad, but not horrible. Please write more, I  it  | |
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JadeMarie
Being Chosen by Nyx
Age : 30
Posts : 26
Location : My own little world....
Join date : 2011-12-19
Character sheet
Name: Jade Marie
Age: 18
Affinities : Controls the Shadows, as well as ice
| | Subject: Re: Never done this before Fri Dec 23, 2011 2:27 am | |
| Yeah it is a little sad.. but thanks so much. Next one won't be too sad.  | |
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*~Dreamer~*
Combining your affinities to save the day
Age : 28
Posts : 2240
Location : Place where I can be away from loneliness.
Join date : 2009-07-14
Character sheet
Name:
Age:
Affinities :
| | Subject: Re: Never done this before Fri Dec 23, 2011 2:31 am | |
| Nice try! It's good for a start, and you'll get better, I believe. Keep writing!
Never say you won't write a lot of it. I used to think that way when I first begun, and now? I don't even know why, but It's becoming like a journal for me already. | |
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JadeMarie
Being Chosen by Nyx
Age : 30
Posts : 26
Location : My own little world....
Join date : 2011-12-19
Character sheet
Name: Jade Marie
Age: 18
Affinities : Controls the Shadows, as well as ice
| | Subject: Re: Never done this before Fri Dec 23, 2011 2:59 am | |
| Thank's Dreamer. I'll keep that in mind. | |
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*~Dreamer~*
Combining your affinities to save the day
Age : 28
Posts : 2240
Location : Place where I can be away from loneliness.
Join date : 2009-07-14
Character sheet
Name:
Age:
Affinities :
| | Subject: Re: Never done this before Fri Dec 23, 2011 3:01 am | |
| not a problem. if you're looking for critics or anything, you can always PM. I will visit her frequently, but if I happen to forget, remember to drop me a PM to remind me! | |
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JadeMarie
Being Chosen by Nyx
Age : 30
Posts : 26
Location : My own little world....
Join date : 2011-12-19
Character sheet
Name: Jade Marie
Age: 18
Affinities : Controls the Shadows, as well as ice
| | Subject: Re: Never done this before Thu Dec 29, 2011 2:10 am | |
| From the first time I laid eyes on you
To the first time we kissed
There was something about you that made my heart flip
I didn’t think you had noticed me
There was another girl on your mind
One week after my birthday,
I worked up enough courage
To send you a text message
Uncertain of what you would say
The anticipation was killing me
As I waited for your reply
Your response almost made me cry
The text you sent back,
Was of a typically guy
I asked if you’d go out with me
Where are we going, is what you replied
Ever since that day,
In 2008 on the twelfth of May
You have been my boyfriend, my best friend,
The only guy I wish to be with until the very end | |
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*~Dreamer~*
Combining your affinities to save the day
Age : 28
Posts : 2240
Location : Place where I can be away from loneliness.
Join date : 2009-07-14
Character sheet
Name:
Age:
Affinities :
| | Subject: Re: Never done this before Thu Dec 29, 2011 2:19 am | |
| cool. so that was how it all started! but what was with the 'typical guy' issue? it sounds a little mellow and disappointed... kinda felt like that when I read that part. It's nice and sweet overall!
(hope you can check out mine too (: | |
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chey2012
Going to the House of Night
Age : 30
Posts : 108
Location : Maryland
Join date : 2012-12-04
| | Subject: Re: Never done this before Mon Dec 10, 2012 1:47 pm | |
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