emo,crazy,suicidal all names for me.

I am Sarah, and I am in a physc ward for harming myself. The doctors and nurses told me to write down my story and why I did what I did, so here I am writeing to who ever will read this. For starters this whole thing started seven months ago when my best friend said she didn't want to be my friend anymore, it really shook my world. Although I was ok because I had a solid family adn group of friend, then that november night everything changed. I was at a party with my friends and of course there had been alchohaul involved but I didn't drink I was the designated driver, I was sixteen and had just got my liscense. I wasn't supposed to be driving with more then one person, but they had no other way home and they were all drunk as hell. So there I was driving down fifth avenue with seven people in my car. My friend Jessy was in the front seat next to me she was the least drunk out of them. It was a green light and I continued driving through the intersection when Jessy thought it would be funny to jerk the steering wheel. It was a late november so there was already ice and snow on the road, so when she jerked the wheel we went spinning onto a peice of ice. The car flipped over twice before crashing into a cement barrier. The next thing I remembered was wakeing up in the hospital and being the only one still alive. I had thought it was my fault even thought everyone kept saying it wasn't. I had to go to a theripist twice a week becuase I was depressed from the whole thing and they gave me anti depressants but I eventually stopped takeing them. I also stopped going to the theripist because I would act like I was happy again, but I was really dieing on the inside. I carried all that pain and regreat inside of me and everytime I would close my eyes I would relive the accident. So that's when I started to hurt myself, at first it started with a cut here and there but it eventually turned into more. I had drawn away from my family and didn't talk to anyone. I would become angry and have random crying fits, this wasn't the ideal life. Then two days before christmas my parents were in a car crash. They had died upon impact and none of my family wanted to take me in because they all knew that I was moody and strange. I was put into the foster care system and that's where I am today. So after this happened with my parents I grew severely depressed. I was cutting every day always looking for new ways to get distract myself. Wait I here someone coming I will write more later.

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