Kana's Poetry

Numb

You talk
I cry
You get mad
I cry harder
Things dissappear
I leave you for my cave
I am alone
No one to talk to
Nothing to do
Nothing left
Crying fades
I become numb
What should I think?
Am I allowed to?
Nothing makes sense anymore
The things you say, do
Make me numb


Love?

You scream and yell at me, tell me everything I'm doing wrong.
Never a kind word uttered.
Then you turn and say "I love you".
Do you?
Is love caging me and locking me away?
Keeping me chained, slashing at my wrists, and trying to get away?
Soffocating me until I can't breathe?
Sometimes I believe you
Most of the time, I'm confused
You're sending me mixed signals
I'm frustrated
Do you really love me?
Or do you only say it cuz you're supposed to?

Drowning

There is fire in my chest,
My lungs about to burst.
I cringe and close my eyes;
I can’t hold it anymore.
I open my mouth and utter a scream.
The water rushes in,
Filling my lungs.
My stomach churns,
Wanting it to stop.
Tears roll down my cheeks,
The fire being replaced by ice.
I feel death about to take over.
I open my eyes and realize,
I’m not drowning…

i think what heart stark said is true especally the drowning one

Well your poems just bit mine the the dust... sorry Jake it ture...

COOL

all my new stuff:


Last Night
(my version of the song Last Night by: Skillet)

I go to you with scars on my wrist,
Telling you this will be the last night feeling like this.
I came to say goodbye,
Didn’t want you to see me cry,
I’m fine…
But we know it’s a lie…

This is the last night we’ll spend alone,
Look me in the eyes so I know you know.
I’ll wrap you in my arms and I won’t let go.

My parents say everything is my fault,
But they don’t know me like you know me,
They don’t know me at all.
I came to say goodbye,
Didn’t want you to see my cry,
I’m fine…
But we know it’s a lie…

This is the last night we’ll spend alone,
Look me in the eyes so I know you know.
I’ll wrap you in my arms and I won’t let go.

I go to you with reopened scars,
Telling you it’s all their fault,
It’s all their fault.
I’m fine…
But we know it’s a lie…

This is the last night we’ll spend alone,
Look me in the eyes so I know you know.
I’ll wrap you in my arms and I won’t let go.

My parents say everything is your fault,
But they don’t know you like I know you,
They don’t know you at all.
But I know it’s a lie…

This is the last night we’ll spend alone,
Look me in the eyes so I know you know.
I’ll wrap you in my arms and I won’t let go.
I’m everything you need me to be…

Tonight…
Tonight…

9/1/09

Fire

A fire, an eternal flame.
It flickers in the darkness,
Embers scorching those who touch it,
Who dare to hurt it.
It’s strength and beauty,
Unappreciated by those who claim to be it’s keeper.

The flame flickers endlessly,
Unaffected by time.
Warping with everything that passes.
The warmth of it’s glow; comforting.

It calls to me,
Promising warmth, comfort and protection.
I reach towards it,
The flames playing with my fingers,
Welcoming me.
A smile creeps across my face,
The warmth filling me,
Making me whole.

8/28/09

A Change

Hurt and betrayed by everyone.
Lost and alone for so long.
Shunned by all of society.
Unable to trust,
For fear of loosing.

Hiding away in the dark,
Shutting the whole world out.
My face in my knees,
My body shuddering,
Trying to keep control.

You place a hand on my shoulder,
Trying to comfort me.
A ray of light shines behind you,
Lighting up the eternal darkness.

Hope returns,
Life renewed.
I smile,
Warmth flowing into my body.
Your embrace,
Stops time,
Letting me forget my troubles.

9/8/09

Naming

Call me crazy,
Call me a freak,
Call me mental,
Call me insane.
I don’t care,
It’s all in vane.

Call me horrible,
Call me a disaster,
Call me disturbed,
Call me names.
I don’t care,
You’re to blame.

Call me a liar,
Call me a dreamer,
Call me annoying,
Call me a *edit your post and this will go away*.
I don’t care.

Tell me you want to be left alone,
That you don’t care anymore.
Tell me to leave,
And I’ll walk out the door.
Tell me I’m stupid,
That there’s nothing there.

Call me beautiful,
Call me an angel,
Call me sweet,
Call me kind.
Call me your lover,
Call me your life.

Tell me I mean the world to you,
That I should go on.
Tell me why I should stay,
When I’m being pushed away.
Tell me I’m not foolish,
Do you see it too?

I don’t care what you call me,
When all you tell me are lies.
Let’s just make this easy,
Just tell me goodbye.

9/8/09

Darkness

Life is a journey,
With two roads to follow.
The path of light; or the path of darkness.
One shows you the light and what is true;
The other pulls you into a void,
Never to see the light again.
As I walk along the road,
I hear a voice, feel a tug.
It is you, pulling me towards the darkness.
You smile, telling me the darkness won’t hurt,
The darkness only is trying to be my friend.
But, I see the demons lurking in it.
I see what you don’t.
Death
Destruction
Loneliness
Despair
Depression
Yet, you urge me closer to it.
It grabs me and starts to pull;
I protest, I struggle, I yell.
I don’t want what lies ahead.
I don’t want the darkness.

3/21/09

My Cave

I leave you
I close the door behind me,
Blaring music can be heard.
The clicking of nails against keys,
Telling the story of my life.
The sympathy of the one who knows me.
The four walls a barrier to the outside,
Keeping my safe from reality.
The place where I am accepted.
The place where I can be me.
The place of my comfort.
The only place I can call my own;
My cave.

3/21/09

Perfection

What do you want from me?
You say you don’t know,
But I think you do.
Do you want a kid that is quiet,
Always doing whatever you want?
A child that never asks questions?
That will let you abuse them?
That will make straight A’s?
That will make you proud?
Do you want the perfect child?
Then too bad.
Newsflash, I’m not perfect.
I never will be.
Accept it…
Or try and force perfection that isn’t there…

3/28/09

Fire & Ice
~ Rayne

Fire
The provider of warmth and light.
He who protects us from darkness,
Illuminating our path in the void called life.
The one who plays with us,
Slowly burning our flesh,
As to create a slow, painful demise.

Ice
An unforgiving mistress of death.
She roams the world,
Giving those she thinks deserves it,
A beautiful death,
Frozen forever,
Preserved.
Mock her,
And you will become what you scorn.

Together, they are unstoppable.
Completely opposite things,
Working together for a common goal.
Death


4/3/09

wow i love them. i really like the one called Fire its my favorite :]

Wow these poems are amazing! I wish I could write poetry

More of my more recent poems. Some I turned in for a project.


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Gone
~ Sylvia

My mind wanders,
Going places unknown,
Seeing,
Experiencing what I wish.
Not paying attention to this world,
Caught in my own.
My body stuck,
Going through the motions.
Everyday, I ask myself,
Why?
Why do I continue to do this?
What’s the point?
Anger is constantly rising,
Boiling up inside me.
Depression creeping through the door.
Then, suddenly,
Numb.
Feeling absolutely nothing.
Why do I continue this nonsense?
I’m already gone.


9/13/09


Moving On
~ Sylvia

Why aren’t I gone?
I should’ve moved on.
I don’t belong here,
Misunderstood.
Trying to be figured out,
Pinned down.
Put on display for all to see.
No.
Take me away,
I’m tired of this.
These things that keep me moving,
Keep me tied here.
Or am I?
My thoughts spin in circles,
Trying to figure themselves out.
But, it makes it worse.
They say stay,
Work it out.
Yet,
My entire being screams,
Go,
Leave,
Don’t look back.
Move on.


9/13/09


The Mind
~ Sylvia

Always moving,
Always turning,
Never stopping,
Gears turning,
Burning themselves out.
Contemplation,
Understanding,
Observing.
Wanting more,
Never completely satisfied.
Head pounding,
Throbbing,
Warning.
Warning of what is to come.
Overworking,
Causing it to burst.
Loosing sanity and reality.

9/14/09


Animal I Have Become

Lost.
Captured.
Contained.
Like an animal.

Lost in a world of darkness.
Captured by the ones who should care for me,
The ones who should set me free.
Contained here,
Slashing at the chains on my wrists,
Trying so hard to become free,
Though all I do is bleed.
An animal
In a cage for all to see.


9/29/09


Inner Me: Bloody & Broken

The inner me.
She stands in the back of my mind,
Stranded in her corner.
Glistening silver points surround her,
Tempting her with their sleek bodies.
She grips them,
Her fingers stripped to the bone,
Using them to ease her hurt,
Her anger.
Once her task is complete,
They line the walls again,
Painted in red crimson.
A sinister smile on her face,
Examining.
Crimson liquid drips down her arms, collecting along the floor.
Her bones protruding out of her skin,
It stretched across her in a tight mask.
Her nails are painted,
Much like her hurtful friends,
In her blood.
Her battle scars coat her body,
Constant reminders of her hurt,
Her anger,
Her betrayal,
Her despair,
Her horrible failure.
A constant reminder of who she is,
How she used to be,
What she has become.
She does not regret it,
Though she is starved of her life.
She feeds on herself,
Her misery and pity,
Her blood and tears.
Do you see that girl?
The inner me.
She has been broken,
She is bloody.
But look deep into her eyes.
Do you see that small glimmer?
It is a sign.
Of what,
I can not be certain.
Only time will tell of the girl,
Bloody and broken.
The inner me.


9/29/09


Afterlife

Wails of the living,
Mourning what lies in dirt.
Hearts wrench,
Agony tears through.
Their eyes close for the last time,
Never to see the light of day again.
But what goes on after the light fades?
Nothingness?
Do we lie in darkness,
Waiting to be eaten?
I know what lies ahead for me.
Flesh burning,
Screaming in agony.
Hellish figures dancing around me.
Chains weighing my limbs down,
Bars restricting my access.
Unable to move.
Fasle light shines through,
Promising saving me.
Is this hell?
No.
This is my everyday.
This is my life.
Welcome to the afterlife.


9/30/09

My Job

I approach you,
Frowning upon seeing you upset.
You sit alone,
In a corner,
Your eyes glazed over in thought.
I tackle you,
Smiling brightly and calling your name.
Your expression brightens,
But still no smile.
I squeeze and nudge you,
Forcing myself to make you smile.
I encourage you,
Persuade you.
Finally what I’m looking for.
You smile and chuckle,
Holding me tighter.
I sigh in relief,
Happy to have made a difference,
Happy to have made you feel better,
Happy to be worth something.
Then the words,
“Are you ok?”
I raise my head,
Replying “I’m fine.”
A fake smile in my face.
You aren’t convinced,
But say nothing.
Since it’s my job.
Making others happy.


10/1/09


Mask

I put it on everyday.
A smile,
A good attitude.
Everyone is fooled,
No one questions.
I am left alone,
Deemed “okay.”
Around everyone,
I am the one who bears other burdens,
Taking them with a smile,
Unconcerned with my own.
The days pass by,
Hammering this into me,
Wearing me to the bone.
I enter my cave,
Digging my nails into my face.
Blood drips down my arm,
The mask ripping me apart.
I throw it to the floor,
Tears streaming down my sunken cheeks.
I look in the mirror,
Seeing the real me.
Not the mask.
The mask I wear,
Covering myself up.

10/3/09


Walk Away From The Sun

Walk away from the sun,
Come slowly undone.
I can see it in my eyes.
I’ve already won.

I could bleed for a smile,
Could cry for some fun.
Walk away from the sun and tell everyone.

So turn away from the ones,
Who hurt everyone.
I can tell by my smile,
I’m coming undone.

I could bleed for a smile,
Could die for a gun.
Walk away from the sun and kill everyone.

So turn away from the ones,
Who hurt everyone.
I can tell by my smile,
I’m coming undone.

So tiny dancer beware,
We’re medicated,
We’re scared.
This smile is so hard to wear,
And I have no gun.

So turn away from the ones,
Who hurt everyone.
I can tell by my smile,
I’m coming undone.

I could bleed for a smile,
I could die for a gun.
Walk away from the sun and betray everyone.

I’m fading with everyday,
I could’ve been the one.
Should have been enough for me.

10/3/09


Fake It

Who’s to know if my soul,
Will fade at all?
The one I sold,
To the world.

I’m coming up with reasons
I’m dragging it out
It’s the changing of the seasons
I feel so raped,
So I’ll follow me down.

Just fake it
I’m out of direction
Fake it
I don’t belong here
Fake it
I feel like an infection

I’m such a hypocrite.

I should know,
My lies won’t hide my flaws.
No sense in hiding
I gave up on my dreams along the way,
Yeah
I’m coming up with reasons
I’m dragging it out
It’s the changing of the seasons
I feel so raped,
So I’ll follow me down.

Just fake it
I’m out of direction
Fake it
I don’t belong here
Fake it
I’m an infection

Whoa
I’m such a hypocrite

I can fake it
I can fake it with the best
I can fake it all.

10/3/09


Hiding Away

Hiding away,
Loosing the day,
Not like it really matters.
Saying goodbye,
Scared to say why.
Afraid it will shatter my world.
I need some faith now,
To trust me somehow.

Why am I keeping secrets?
Why am I hiding away?
Anything I can do to hide.
Anything I can do to protect.
Don’t pry into me.
It won’t get you far.
I’m content with hiding away.

Hiding away,
Loosing the day,
Not like it really matters.
Saying goodbye,
Scared to say why.
Afraid it will shatter my world.
I need some faith now,
To trust somehow.

Why am I still here?
Why do I keep trying,
When everything fails?

I’m hiding away,
Loosing my days,
Not like it really matters

10/6/09


Love

Love.
What does that word mean to me?
Is it the way you look at me,
Eyes sparkling happily and tenderly?
The way you hold me to your chest,
Breathing in your sweet scent and your comforting warmth?
Your warm smile that comforts me horrid nights.
You are always on my mind,
In everything I see.
It reminds me of you,
Always you.
The way my heart beat accelerates as you get closer,
Looking in my direction.
The world stops as we lock eyes,
Everything pausing for a few seconds.
Everytime I look at you,
I think of what I’d do for you, my dear.
I’d die to save your life,
Bear a thousand burdens if it means you’re alright,
Risk everything to make you happy,
Even if I get nothing in return.
Together I feel safe and wanted,
Like I can do anything with you.
That is love.

10/6/09




How do I know you?
I hardly even know myself.
I now understand.

Do you understand?
You say you do, but do you?
We should find that out.

Come look at me now.
See the light in my eyes.
What does it show you?

Do you see it in me?
The light is shinning brightly.
For everyone to see


You’d Understand

If you knew all the notions
In my head,
You’d understand,
Why some days I can’t get out of bed.
What I mean when I say
“I understand.”
Why I do the things I do
Why I like him and her
Why I like you
You’d get an explanation
Of everything
You have wondered about.
What goes on inside
Why I am content alone
How my emotions keep me together.
You’d understand
Why I have no ambition
Why we don’t get along
Why I act differently
All the time.
How I can survive on nothing
But not need more.
You’d understand
What I need to be healthy
What I need to be relaxed
What I need to be healthy

11/10/09
Worn

I can’t do this anymore.
Everything here,
Sickens me
I ache more with passing days,
Migraines continuous
Can you see the real me?
My mask gone,
Cast aside long ago
The layers peel away,
Showing
Me
I am exhausted
I am tired
I am sick of everything
Sick of pretending
Pretending I am content here
I don’t want to try anymore
I am worn down,
More broken than meets the eye
Unable to rest,
It wears me down
Down
Down

10/25/09

Strength

My friends claim I am strong.
I laugh bitterly to myself,
Knowing the truth
“You’re a fighter,”
They say
“You are strong.”
Yet I am not
I’m falling further into my hole
The hole I dug for myself
This is to be my final resting-place.
I can’t be strong
When I want to give up
I am weak.
I am running from my problems,
The problems I don’t know how to fix
The past haunts my every thought,
Ripping my insides apart
I’d like to know.
Why
I am claimed strong
Since strong I am not.

10/25/09

Alive

I’m here
I’m alive

Can’t you hear me scream?
I’m falling deeper into the pit,
Being crushed by my past
By my feelings
I can’t control it
I desperately cling to you.

Help me

Please

I’m awake
I’m alive

I’m throwing it away
So you can see me
See through the mask
Can you hear my screams?

I’m hurting
I’m alive

The aching
Of numbness
Is overwhelming me now
I can’t breathe…

I thrash
Scream
Hoping to be heard
There is no use anymore
I am too far-gone

I’m alive…

10/26/09

Untitled

Why
Am I not good enough for you?
I try
I try
It always fails
Never good enough
For you
You say you care
Your words are hallow
Uncaring
You want power
You crush my will
You hold me back
No point in fighting
Anymore
I
Am
Done
I’m dying inside
Nothing you can say
Nothing you can do
Never be good enough
For
You
I will just stop trying
Pointless
To continue

11/15/09

Untitled

What’s wrong?
They ask me each passing day.
Why do I tell them?
I’m sick
I’m aching
My thoughts
Depressed
Angry
Suicidal
I get oppression with every decision
I can’t speak my mind
I can’t be me
I’m held back by guilt
I won’t let go
Everything seems pointless
I don’t know what’s true
I don’t know what’s false
My mask shows I’m happier
I’m still trying to escape
What do I tell them
When these thoughts run through my mind?
I smile
I say
Everything’s fine

12/9/09

luv the poems

like always Kana I love them.
I have a few new ones up on mine
oh off subject but I wanted you to know.
I get interenet back in 2weeks so I don't have to hope
that Joe's cousion will be nice to me and let me use theirs.

Haha. Wow. Soooooo..... Haven't been on here in a LONG time. But, here's a new something that I wrote for my college english class.


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Me, myself, and I are difficult to comprehend and explain.
I am complex, with many sides to my story.
I understand more than I let on; listening to everything that goes on all around me.
I comprehend what I am told; but deliberately ignore what is being said.
My mind is always working, always turning, but not the way that is expected.
I am always lost off in the distance, but never too far from home.
I have almost no touch with reality, but manage to stay intact with the world.
I am dark, staying off to myself so that no one may touch me.
I require comfort; being around others to fill the empty void.
I despise all forms of contact, yet crave someone to be there; just in case.
I trust absolutely no one, but let others pour out their hearts for me to hear.
I pretend to be tough and hard as stone all the time, never cracking under pressure.
In reality, I am an afraid, young girl that is trying to find her way in this corrupt world.
I am a delicate flower that needs to be nurtured, not tortured.
I put up a mask so that nobody will see underneath and judge what they don’t understand.
I do not judge those, for I do not wish that same fate upon myself.
It is very hard for me to talk about myself, for I have problems with being open.
Nothing is ever as it seems.