Control

Subject: Control Tue Dec 15, 2009 2:49 am

Hey, So I just wrote this story for my college Short Stories class and I'm having trouble with the climax of the story... any ideas, comments, corrections or positive reinforcement is highly desired. =)

BEFORE YOU READ
* The story is really dark. (Poe style)
* The murder is John's split personality
* It's fictional, a.k.a. not real.
* Don't do this... ever.
* No, I did not nor would I ever do this

Control

“Sarah,” I whispered softly from the corner of her bedroom. Panic stricken, the young woman jumped to her feet in sheer terror. She trembled as a high pitched screech escaped her mouth and, as she gazed at my displeasing face, she grew too shocked to even speak or move. The look upon her face though was priceless; it was something that gave my heart so much joy. All the while he’s never figured it out, never discovered after all the late nights, hang overs and strange bruises that it was I, finally getting my revenge on humanity, finally getting the control he never could. I’d finally broke through the ignorant John. My heart began to pound with anticipation as the frightened Sarah began to scream. It was an absolute thrill it was to me, watching the very breath of life that had been instilled in her being exhaled. My hands eased their grip as her body finally went limp and her heart slowly began to stop beating all together.

What a sweet victory it was for me, having control. Maybe that’s why I did it, control… I wanted control over something, control that was in my hands, not in someone else’s. My hands lay back at my side after I slowly laid her cold body on the ground. Her eyes were still wide open, looking up at me as if she were pleading, pleading that I would give her back her life. “Oh little Sarah,” I said under my breath as I paced the floor… “What shall we do with Sarah today?” I asked myself. I knew very well what I was I going to do with her, but her ears were still wide open, and whether she was listening or not, the sound was still traveling into them. I paced back and forth in her bedroom as I breathed in the intoxicating aroma being expelled around the room. Soft lavender, such a soothing scent which I’m sure calmed her as her lungs gasped intently for air minutes ago. I tapped my foot as I listened to the sound of the fan in the corner of the room. It was whipping not only the aroma around the room, but a chilly breeze as my heart began to slow in its pace. But as I listened more carefully, I noticed the fan made this ticking sound every several seconds. The ticking was almost like the sound of heart beat, only constant. “Make it stop, make it stop,” I told myself as I walked over to that corner of the room. Bending down, I gripped the cord of the fan in my hand, pulling it from the outlet at once. Finally I had stopped it, stopped the damn ticking noise.

Then it flooded back into my mind… My hands grasped around her neck, the feeling of control, the sheer excitement it brought to my ever desperate soul. My heart began to beat furiously as I wiped the sweat above my brow away with my forearm. “You must get on schedule,” I told myself as I realized daylight would soon be approaching, “you must return home before the sun.” Walking over to the corpse, I swiftly reached down, grabbing her midsection and lifting it up. I let her limbs brush against the ground as I dragged her body out to my car. “Come on now,” I said to Sarah as I attempted to maneuver her body into the car. The door had been left open, waiting for my arrival. The cool fall air had spread about my vehicle as I shut the door, pushing her naked feet deeper into the back seat.

As I shifted the car into drive, I tapped my hands on the wheel, looking back to make sure she was still dead. Control, I still had it as I drove the vehicle to my usual spot, the spot where I had put them all. I dragged her by her feet, getting the body out of my car. Then as if she was a soft petal, I laid her down gently in the gravel near the beginning of the long boardwalk. Then I quickly walked down to the shoreline, only a few yards away from her. It was there I found another rock, a rather large rock actually. Bending down at the knees, I lifted it up carried it until I reached her. Then, like I’d done so many times before, I laid the rock on her stomach and grabbed a roll of tape from my backseat. Carefully, I duct taped the rock tightly to her torso, lifting her back and going all the way around her, providing a more secure hold. Then I dragged her body to the end of the boardwalk. It was such a lovely sound, her head hitting each plank of wood with a thud. When we finally reached the end, I shoved her with my foot. I watched as she rolled off the end of the boardwalk, hitting the ocean waters with a splash and sinking all the way to the bottom of the very deep ocean. That noise, even after all these years, was something that made my heart flutter. As the body disappeared from sight, and the moon beams bounced off the calm waves, I realized it was time to retreat and return to the home of the one who was too scared to take control, the one who would surely take the blame before I would ever be caught.

Holding the keys in my hand, I got back into my car with a sense of pride inside of me, a sense of accomplishment that words could never describe. “Just drive home,” I said to myself as I tapped the wheel once again. I put the keys into the ignition and took off down the road. “It’s too late, you cannot do it again tonight,” I reminded myself, wishing it wasn’t so late. Eventually though, I pulled into John’s driveway, and without a worry in my mind, I let myself sink into the cotton sheets of comfort that had brought me to life. I would awake tomorrow night and, like I had done only hours ago, I would again take control over the world, never to be caught, never to be found. Because after all, who in their right mind would honestly blame a guy who looks like nerdy, old, John Branson?

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