havent come up with a name yet,

Subject: havent come up with a name yet, Wed Oct 20, 2010 9:14 pm

just tell me what you think, this is all i have for right now, not sure if its any good,, so here i go!

chapter 1

Well, i guess i could start off by saying my name.I'm Alyson Davis. I live my aunt, terri, uncle, bryan, and little cousin , breana. I'm sure you're asking why i don't live my parents. let's just say there dead. they died a year ago today. I hate talking about it, but my counselor says i should. He says its good for me to talk about it so i can try to deal. the truth is is makes everything worse. I try everything in my nature to forget about what happend on that night. If you're reading this and can relate to it, then I'm happy there are othe people out there. If you're reading this and thinknig to yourslef"what would i ever do if i lost my parents?" keep thinking nad be lucky you still have them. i would give absolutely anything to see mine one last time..
I was at a part with my best friend, Hannah. I didn't really want to go, but she sort of talked me into it. We argued about it for like 30 minutes. I finally decided to go. Regretting it now more than ever. Anyway, she came to pick me up, but wouldnt say where we were going. The only thing that she told me was that it was David's party, one of our friends who liked me since freshman year. we were juniors now. We pulled up to the place. i saw it was a hotel. We got out and went into the hotel.
When we approached the manager, he asked us for ids. I was about to say we didn't have any until Hannah showed him fake ids. FAKE ID'S?!? after we were past him I asked her what that was about.
"We're going to need fake ids to drink." she said.
"But we're underage, we could get caught."
"well its a risk i'm willing to take."
"whatever"
We got to the ballroom, and there were like tons of people here. i didnt realize how much would be here.
"Hey Alyson, hannah." he said and smiled in my direction. i had to smile back. he was gorgeous.
"Hello david."she said then ditched us for ryan, her boyfriend.
"just like hannah." i said.
"of course.." he said then looked at me."Alyson,,, i have to tell you something..not sure how youll take it,, but i i want you to know,"
"uhhh,,,sure whta is it?" i ask. i could tell it was somehting big for him. he looked all nervous and scared. Like when you go on your first long distance trip away form the people you know.
"I...uhh..." he said and hesitated.
"yeah?..."
"I like you...a lot.." he said
I knew he liked me, but i didn't think he liked me this much. he was to the point of sweating, or something like that.
"Ohhh..well.."
"I knew it i should have just kept it in..and not said anything...sorry for thiss.." He said and started to walk away.

This is all i have so far, ive got some more written but tell me what you think, please! xDD

]

Guest

I think it's nice

Subject: Re: havent come up with a name yet, Sat Oct 23, 2010 2:15 pm

I really like it write more

Subject: Re: havent come up with a name yet, Thu Nov 04, 2010 1:24 pm

i looked down."david..." i said and looked at him. He was cute, i guess i could give him a chance, right?
"what?" He said and looked over at me,
i smiled. then said," I like you too,"
I saw him smile, ans something inside told me that he was excitred and thrilled as if i didnt already know that. A lot of this has been happening happening to me lately. It's like i can tell hat people are thinknig and what they feel.. Is that normal? i mean- i stopped as david interupted my thought.
"well what do you think of that?" he said,
"what? sorryy.." i said. i felt bad,
"about me and you possibly going out sometime..If its to early or whatever I'll understand.."
i laughed and smiled, "sure, i would love that,"there went that feeling again..i heard his thoughts as if they were spoken out loud. And plus i had a feelling in my gut something was going to happen tonight. I let the feeling go..I decided to focus on david...

Subject: Re: havent come up with a name yet, Thu Nov 04, 2010 7:27 pm

that is good so far keep going Smile

Subject: Re: havent come up with a name yet, Sat Nov 06, 2010 5:51 pm

Cool i like it

Subject: Re: havent come up with a name yet, Mon Nov 08, 2010 1:04 pm

thanks guys more will be up soon,, im writing two other stories at the moment also, so yeahh

Subject: Re: havent come up with a name yet, Wed Nov 10, 2010 2:16 pm

when the part was over, he drove me home. The stuf he talked about was interesting. He wanted to be a police officer when he grew up. At least he knew. i thought. i had no clue what i wanted to be. or what college i wanted to go to. i was undecided about a lot of stuff..
"hey, you okay?" he asked me as we pulled up to my house.
"uhh yeah, I'm fine." i smiled
"okay then, well heres you stop." he said and smiled.
"thanks again..." i said.
He smield and leaned over to kiss me. i kissed him back. It was everything i imagined it would;warm ,sweet, a passion. It felt like nothing else.= i've ever known before. I pulled away finally even though i didnn't want to. "i've gotta go, but ill see you tomarrow?" i said as i kissed him on the cheek.
he nodded."bye, see ya, " he said and opened the door for me.
i got out of the car and smiled as he drove off. i went to my door, and opened it.
"mom? im home!" i said. It was too quieet here,
someone grabbed my arm. i jumped but it was just my mother."alyson,, you need to hide or leave, i told him you weren't here, if he finds you, you'll die." she said in a worries tone.
"but what do you m-"
"just go hide! now, i love you, rememebr that," she said and pushed me in the coat closet, i looked through the little holes that were in it. Not beieving what i saw.

» Untitled havent come up ith a title yet
» Sad moments.. ( SUPER SUPER SPOILERS. Don't read if you havent read the whole series so far.)