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Rach
Ageless Vampire
Angel of Music
7 posters
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Angel of Music
Trying to stop war
Trying to stop war
Angel of Music


Female Gemini Rat
Age : 27
Posts : 45811
Location : A very dark place that nobody cares about
Join date : 2009-12-08

Character sheet
Name: Sierrah
Age:
Affinities : Mostly Spirit but i have power over all of them

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PostSubject: Comments - Gone!   Comments - Gone! EmptySun Jan 24, 2010 11:04 pm

The story Gone! can be found Here

ohhh.....I love it keep writing more please
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Ageless Vampire
Appointing your friends to your council
Appointing your friends to your council
Ageless Vampire


Female Posts : 2711
Location : California
Join date : 2009-12-05

Character sheet
Name:
Age: a time of life (usually defined in years) at which some particular qualification or power arises, such as...
Affinities : Fire & Equestrian

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PostSubject: Re: Comments - Gone!   Comments - Gone! EmptySun Jan 24, 2010 11:47 pm

Rach, I think you have a great start! Keep going with it and see where it takes you.
*hugs*
-Ageless Like a Star @ heaven
Ps. Don't worry about spelling u can always go back later and fix that... (I have too all the time!)
Check out one of my stories too & tell me what ya think! *grins*
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Rach
Telling your parents you are a fledgling
Telling your parents you are a fledgling
Rach


Female Posts : 81
Location : House of Night
Join date : 2010-01-22

Character sheet
Name:
Age:
Affinities :

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PostSubject: Re: Comments - Gone!   Comments - Gone! EmptySun Jan 24, 2010 11:49 pm

VampHighPriestess555 wrote:
ohhh.....I love it keep writing more please

Thankyou I will post each chapter I do Ive neally finished the 2 chapter I will post it tonight
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Rach
Telling your parents you are a fledgling
Telling your parents you are a fledgling
Rach


Female Posts : 81
Location : House of Night
Join date : 2010-01-22

Character sheet
Name:
Age:
Affinities :

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PostSubject: Re: Comments - Gone!   Comments - Gone! EmptySun Jan 24, 2010 11:50 pm

Ageless Vampire wrote:
Rach, I think you have a great start! Keep going with it and see where it takes you.
*hugs*
-Ageless Like a Star @ heaven
Ps. Don't worry about spelling u can always go back later and fix that... (I have too all the time!)
Check out one of my stories too & tell me what ya think! *grins*

Thankyou!! Sure I will cheak now.

Blessed Be xo
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Rach
Telling your parents you are a fledgling
Telling your parents you are a fledgling
Rach


Female Posts : 81
Location : House of Night
Join date : 2010-01-22

Character sheet
Name:
Age:
Affinities :

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PostSubject: Re: Comments - Gone!   Comments - Gone! EmptyMon Jan 25, 2010 12:27 am

I will post the 2 chapter soon
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Angel of Music
Trying to stop war
Trying to stop war
Angel of Music


Female Gemini Rat
Age : 27
Posts : 45811
Location : A very dark place that nobody cares about
Join date : 2009-12-08

Character sheet
Name: Sierrah
Age:
Affinities : Mostly Spirit but i have power over all of them

Comments - Gone! Empty
PostSubject: Re: Comments - Gone!   Comments - Gone! EmptyMon Jan 25, 2010 12:57 am

yay cant wait
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Rach
Telling your parents you are a fledgling
Telling your parents you are a fledgling
Rach


Female Posts : 81
Location : House of Night
Join date : 2010-01-22

Character sheet
Name:
Age:
Affinities :

Comments - Gone! Empty
PostSubject: Re: Comments - Gone!   Comments - Gone! EmptyMon Jan 25, 2010 1:01 am

VampHighPriestess555 wrote:
yay cant wait

I will get off and finish it now and post it in about 20mins if not tonight becasue going for a walk in half hour.
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Rach
Telling your parents you are a fledgling
Telling your parents you are a fledgling
Rach


Female Posts : 81
Location : House of Night
Join date : 2010-01-22

Character sheet
Name:
Age:
Affinities :

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PostSubject: Re: Comments - Gone!   Comments - Gone! EmptyMon Jan 25, 2010 4:28 am

By the way AGLAIA Means "splendour, beauty"
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Ageless Vampire
Appointing your friends to your council
Appointing your friends to your council
Ageless Vampire


Female Posts : 2711
Location : California
Join date : 2009-12-05

Character sheet
Name:
Age: a time of life (usually defined in years) at which some particular qualification or power arises, such as...
Affinities : Fire & Equestrian

Comments - Gone! Empty
PostSubject: Re: Comments - Gone!   Comments - Gone! EmptyMon Jan 25, 2010 4:42 am

I think its great so far, here are some suggestions since you wanted help...
Something that confused me was this part:
Quote :
*edit your post and this will go away* Sophie why should have asked that question dumb, dumb, dumb.
Also, I think making your dialogue more spaced out would be helpful too...like this:
Quote :
I took a deep breath before going in...
Sophie!! A deep sexy voice came from a chair.
Hello? I said a bit confused.
I’ve been waiting for you Sophie; you are now one of us you have to following the way of our goddess Artemis.
Hope that helps! Can't wait to read more!
*cheers*
-Ageless Like a Star @ heaven
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Rach
Telling your parents you are a fledgling
Telling your parents you are a fledgling
Rach


Female Posts : 81
Location : House of Night
Join date : 2010-01-22

Character sheet
Name:
Age:
Affinities :

Comments - Gone! Empty
PostSubject: Re: Comments - Gone!   Comments - Gone! EmptyMon Jan 25, 2010 5:55 am

Ageless Vampire wrote:
I think its great so far, here are some suggestions since you wanted help...
Something that confused me was this part:
Quote :
*edit your post and this will go away* Sophie why should have asked that question dumb, dumb, dumb.
Also, I think making your dialogue more spaced out would be helpful too...like this:
Quote :
I took a deep breath before going in...
Sophie!! A deep sexy voice came from a chair.
Hello? I said a bit confused.
I’ve been waiting for you Sophie; you are now one of us you have to following the way of our goddess Artemis.
Hope that helps! Can't wait to read more!
*cheers*
-Ageless Like a Star @ heaven


Thankyou this has help me soooo much!!!

*edit your post and this will go away* Sophie why should have asked that question dumb, dumb, dumb.

I got rid of that! and I fixd the rest!

Blessed Be xox
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Angel of Music
Trying to stop war
Trying to stop war
Angel of Music


Female Gemini Rat
Age : 27
Posts : 45811
Location : A very dark place that nobody cares about
Join date : 2009-12-08

Character sheet
Name: Sierrah
Age:
Affinities : Mostly Spirit but i have power over all of them

Comments - Gone! Empty
PostSubject: Re: Comments - Gone!   Comments - Gone! EmptyMon Jan 25, 2010 6:32 pm

i love it!
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Rach
Telling your parents you are a fledgling
Telling your parents you are a fledgling
Rach


Female Posts : 81
Location : House of Night
Join date : 2010-01-22

Character sheet
Name:
Age:
Affinities :

Comments - Gone! Empty
PostSubject: Re: Comments - Gone!   Comments - Gone! EmptyMon Jan 25, 2010 10:00 pm

VampHighPriestess555 wrote:
i love it!

Thankyou! I will start writting to third chapter soon
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Angel of Music
Trying to stop war
Trying to stop war
Angel of Music


Female Gemini Rat
Age : 27
Posts : 45811
Location : A very dark place that nobody cares about
Join date : 2009-12-08

Character sheet
Name: Sierrah
Age:
Affinities : Mostly Spirit but i have power over all of them

Comments - Gone! Empty
PostSubject: Re: Comments - Gone!   Comments - Gone! EmptyMon Jan 25, 2010 10:59 pm

yay cant wait
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Rach
Telling your parents you are a fledgling
Telling your parents you are a fledgling
Rach


Female Posts : 81
Location : House of Night
Join date : 2010-01-22

Character sheet
Name:
Age:
Affinities :

Comments - Gone! Empty
PostSubject: Re: Comments - Gone!   Comments - Gone! EmptyTue Jan 26, 2010 12:31 am

VampHighPriestess555 wrote:
yay cant wait

lol thankyou
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Rach
Telling your parents you are a fledgling
Telling your parents you are a fledgling
Rach


Female Posts : 81
Location : House of Night
Join date : 2010-01-22

Character sheet
Name:
Age:
Affinities :

Comments - Gone! Empty
PostSubject: Re: Comments - Gone!   Comments - Gone! EmptyTue Jan 26, 2010 10:49 pm

i'm half way through writting the 3rd chapter
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Ageless Vampire
Appointing your friends to your council
Appointing your friends to your council
Ageless Vampire


Female Posts : 2711
Location : California
Join date : 2009-12-05

Character sheet
Name:
Age: a time of life (usually defined in years) at which some particular qualification or power arises, such as...
Affinities : Fire & Equestrian

Comments - Gone! Empty
PostSubject: Re: Comments - Gone!   Comments - Gone! EmptyTue Jan 26, 2010 10:50 pm

*cheers*
U go girl! Can't wait til you get it posted!
-Ageless Like a Star @ heaven
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Rach
Telling your parents you are a fledgling
Telling your parents you are a fledgling
Rach


Female Posts : 81
Location : House of Night
Join date : 2010-01-22

Character sheet
Name:
Age:
Affinities :

Comments - Gone! Empty
PostSubject: Re: Comments - Gone!   Comments - Gone! EmptyTue Jan 26, 2010 10:56 pm

Ageless Vampire wrote:
*cheers*
U go girl! Can't wait til you get it posted!
-Ageless Like a Star @ heaven
Have you written the 3rd chapter of your book?

Rachxox
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Ageless Vampire
Appointing your friends to your council
Appointing your friends to your council
Ageless Vampire


Female Posts : 2711
Location : California
Join date : 2009-12-05

Character sheet
Name:
Age: a time of life (usually defined in years) at which some particular qualification or power arises, such as...
Affinities : Fire & Equestrian

Comments - Gone! Empty
PostSubject: Re: Comments - Gone!   Comments - Gone! EmptyTue Jan 26, 2010 11:02 pm

Nope, started but that's about it *pouts* oh wells, when I'm feeling more creative I'll work on it!
-Ageless Like a Star @ heaven
Ps. Check your friends requests in your profile! *smiles*
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Rach
Telling your parents you are a fledgling
Telling your parents you are a fledgling
Rach


Female Posts : 81
Location : House of Night
Join date : 2010-01-22

Character sheet
Name:
Age:
Affinities :

Comments - Gone! Empty
PostSubject: Re: Comments - Gone!   Comments - Gone! EmptyTue Jan 26, 2010 11:04 pm

Ageless Vampire wrote:
Nope, started but that's about it *pouts* oh wells, when I'm feeling more creative I'll work on it!
-Ageless Like a Star @ heaven
Ps. Check your friends requests in your profile! *smiles*

ok thankyou xox
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Ageless Vampire
Appointing your friends to your council
Appointing your friends to your council
Ageless Vampire


Female Posts : 2711
Location : California
Join date : 2009-12-05

Character sheet
Name:
Age: a time of life (usually defined in years) at which some particular qualification or power arises, such as...
Affinities : Fire & Equestrian

Comments - Gone! Empty
PostSubject: Re: Comments - Gone!   Comments - Gone! EmptyThu Jan 28, 2010 1:36 am

Can't wait to read your 3rd chapter, I wrote some of mine today! Where's yours?
*waits patiently*
-Ageless Like a Star @ heaven
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Rach
Telling your parents you are a fledgling
Telling your parents you are a fledgling
Rach


Female Posts : 81
Location : House of Night
Join date : 2010-01-22

Character sheet
Name:
Age:
Affinities :

Comments - Gone! Empty
PostSubject: Re: Comments - Gone!   Comments - Gone! EmptyThu Jan 28, 2010 2:06 am

Ageless Vampire wrote:
Can't wait to read your 3rd chapter, I wrote some of mine today! Where's yours?
*waits patiently*
-Ageless Like a Star @ heaven

sorry at school can only do it at night
(school dose like vamp books)
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Angel of Music
Trying to stop war
Trying to stop war
Angel of Music


Female Gemini Rat
Age : 27
Posts : 45811
Location : A very dark place that nobody cares about
Join date : 2009-12-08

Character sheet
Name: Sierrah
Age:
Affinities : Mostly Spirit but i have power over all of them

Comments - Gone! Empty
PostSubject: Re: Comments - Gone!   Comments - Gone! EmptyThu Jan 28, 2010 2:20 am

thats one reason I dont like school, i cant write my story there and if i try writing it on paper the teachers think its other class homework
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Rach
Telling your parents you are a fledgling
Telling your parents you are a fledgling
Rach


Female Posts : 81
Location : House of Night
Join date : 2010-01-22

Character sheet
Name:
Age:
Affinities :

Comments - Gone! Empty
PostSubject: Re: Comments - Gone!   Comments - Gone! EmptyThu Jan 28, 2010 2:23 am

VampHighPriestess555 wrote:
thats one reason I dont like school, i cant write my story there and if i try writing it on paper the teachers think its other class homework

I know!
And if you get caught she makes you read it out in front of the class adn then she will give me a "B"
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Angel of Music
Trying to stop war
Trying to stop war
Angel of Music


Female Gemini Rat
Age : 27
Posts : 45811
Location : A very dark place that nobody cares about
Join date : 2009-12-08

Character sheet
Name: Sierrah
Age:
Affinities : Mostly Spirit but i have power over all of them

Comments - Gone! Empty
PostSubject: Re: Comments - Gone!   Comments - Gone! EmptyThu Jan 28, 2010 2:27 am

my teacher didnt make me read it out loud she just said put it away or i'll give u a behavier ticket but ugh teachers r annoying and when I get home I have homework so I cant post or right more
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Rach
Telling your parents you are a fledgling
Telling your parents you are a fledgling
Rach


Female Posts : 81
Location : House of Night
Join date : 2010-01-22

Character sheet
Name:
Age:
Affinities :

Comments - Gone! Empty
PostSubject: Re: Comments - Gone!   Comments - Gone! EmptyThu Jan 28, 2010 2:28 am

VampHighPriestess555 wrote:
my teacher didnt make me read it out loud she just said put it away or i'll give u a behavier ticket but ugh teachers r annoying and when I get home I have homework so I cant post or right more

ok byebye!! (It was my first day back)
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