Just Say you Dont Love Me (2)

"That..I'm not telling you" I told him, "I heard..and saw enough"

"I know she's going to die" I told him, "But don't you want the feel the satisfaction of her choosing you," I squeezed my eyes closed, there it was. The douchebag inside who craved acceptance. I stepped back looking at Paysin, "I'm sorry. I love you. I'll go now"

"Thanks" i said as i felt Diana's magic flow through me and calm me down. When i heard the rest of her words i said "thats what people keep telling me."

I stared at Elliot, tears coming to my eyes again. I flashed Jason a look too. "YOu knew? Both of you knew?"

"Of course we know" I told her

I bit my lip, shaking my head and looking at the ground. When I looked up again my face was angry, i had coped with sadness and somewhat acceptance but now anger was flashing through me. I stepped away from Jason and stood a bit away from both of the guys I loved and glared at them. "Did you also know I'm not even a shifter? That they have no Fu(king idea what I am? That I was a FREAK!"

I stared at him, hot angry tears falling down my face. I wiped them away as quickly as they fell. "I'm going to die, Jason. I am going to die not knowing what I am and whether or not you try to protect me. Its inevitable and I know you heard that part too if you were listening." I looked at Elliot, poor sweet Elliot, I could see in his eyes that I had broken his heart and though Jason wouldn't show it I was breaking his too. It was better that way. "Elliot I can't choose between you two because I love you both and I'm not going to be alive long enough for it to matter. Both of you will go on and you can go on without me...All I have done since I came to this school was cause a hell of a lot of sh!t and the world is better off with out me because I destroy everything by being here. Do you understand that?"

"You think I care about any of that?" I asked her

I nodded in agreement with him for once

I put my face in my hands. "I dont want either of you to love me, okay?" I was good at pushing people away, its what I've done all my life and it was never neccesary till now.

I tightened my jaw, ready for my heart to shatter as I looked him square in the eye and with no emotion at all in my voice said: "I dont love you Jason, for god sakes your a vampire; you repulse me. I was only carrying this along to make you look pathetic and I was going to return what you do to every poor girl you date and I was going to kill you after i made you fall for me." I looked at Elliot. "And you, I used you to cover that I was "dating" a vampire." I shook my head at them. "I was going to dispose of both of you as soon as I could but my upcoming death was inconvienant to that so I have to cut it short. Goodbye." I turned away from them and went to meet Autumn. My heart was aching and my body felt like shutting down. I wanted whatever was coming to come along now and kill me right then and there.

I stopped in my tracks and held the tears back in my eyes. I made my face look hateful, I turned around and looked at him then turned back around like I was going to walk away. I phased and whipped around. I tackled him, my claws digging into his shoulder blades. I tried not to hurt him too much, I wanted him to hate me and not want to see me again but I didn't want to hurt him...no more than I already had. I snarled in his face.

He might as well have put a knife in my heart by saying that. I stared at him, anger and hate in my eyes. Not for him, never for him, but for myself. I hated myself more than I have ever hated anything. I growled and snapped my claws across his chest, drawing blood. Then I stepped hard on his leg with my back paws, hearing the bones pop. I backed off of him, gave Elliot a warning look, turn, and ran. I had to find Autumn and Jason wouldn't follow me, I made sure of that and if Elliot was smart he wouldn't come either. By smell she tracked Autumn's scent down and found her and another very pretty girl with her. I phased, I was still holding back my pain and the need to shut down, break down. I looked her in the eyes. "There's a group after her." Was all I said to her.

((Being completely honest I just bawled like a baby during this scene =] ))

(oh i wanna interrupt!)

"This scene is so dramatic it tops titanic,hmmp. I like it." I said moving a strand of my blond hair out of my face.