Another Songfic. Untitled by Simple Plan{written before the NM movie cam out.}
I lay in my bed, waiting for the sound of the alarm clock to tell me that I had to wake up and get the charade going. For Charlie.
BEEP...BEEP…BEEP…BEEP…
I open my eyes
I try to see but I'm blinded by the white light
I can't remember how
I can't remember why
I'm lying here tonight
I try to keep all my feelings, emotions, and memories locked away in the back of my mind. It's less painful this way. I don't have to ever feel pain again.
And I can't stand the pain
And I can't make it go away
No I can't stand the pain
The nightmares can't be stopped. Every night I see him. Laughing, running around. With a beautiful vampire girl and he and his family are laughing about the stupid human girl.
Some nights I have nightmares about the forest. I walk around until I can't take it anymore…Sometimes Sam is there…
How could this happen to me?
I've made my mistakes
I've got nowhere to run
The night goes on
As I'm fading away
I'm sick of this life
I just wanna scream
How could this happen to me?
I know I should have stayed away from him. As I look at the mirror I really notice how ugly I am. Edward had never really wanted me. He just wanted me to play with. He never loved me…
Everybody's screaming
I try to make a sound but no one hears me
I'm slipping off the edge
I'm hanging by a thread
I wanna start this over again
I wish I would have ignored him at school. I wish I would have left him alone and not try to figure out what they were. Just left them alone like everyone else. I should have just let James take me. Just let him kill me so I wouldn't have to face this pain at night, or pretend to be fine for Charlie.
So I try to hold
On to a time when nothing mattered
And I can't explain what happened
And I can't erase the things that I've done
No I can't
I can't forget him, no matter what. I can't forget those nights with him in my bed. The days spent in his sun filled meadow. The time spent with his family, playing games with Emmett and getting make-over's from Alice.
How could this happen to me?
I've made my mistakes
I've got nowhere to run
The night goes on
As I'm fading away
I'm sick of this life
I just wanna scream
How could this happen to me?
I can't leave this place. I have to stay. Charlie must understand that. I know that he knows that I would be worse anywhere else. I can't forget him…but I can't remember him…
I've made my mistakes
I've got nowhere to run
The night goes on
As I'm fading away
I'm sick of this life
I just wanna scream
How could this happen to me?
"That's it Bella! You're going to live with Rene!"
I guess I was wrong...
