this is a real weird short story me and a mate made up over the weekend.
its made up of a mix of movies, books and actors we both like.
it's reasonably long.
please comment what you think of it.
i hope you get a laugh out of it.prolouge
Vanessa and I were at Andrew’s house and we heard something outside the window. Andrew told us to leave, we thought that was odd.
While we were headed back to my place at La Push, Vanessa was very quiet.
Suddenly she stopped me in my tracks.
She said ‘can I tell you something that you can never tell another soul, or anything that walks on this earth?’
I hesitated and said ‘yeah course you can.’
She hesitated and said ’I’m not who you think I am.’ I stood there and thought that this was some joke, so I said. ‘So who are you?’
Chapter one
‘I am...’ she started to say, but then suddenly we both got knocked to the ground by a strange creature. Vanessa, or whoever she was shoved me behind her and said ‘stay behind me.’ I was too shocked to say anything, so I did what she said. I got behind her.
‘FIRE COME TO ME!’ she yelled.
There was sudden warmth around us, like someone had just lit am open fire in a small room.
Somehow my supposedly best friend burnt someone enough to make it crow. (Crow? Who crows?)
When she said that it was safe I stood up.
‘Ok, what the HELL was that about?’ I asked her.
‘It’s not safe here sis, we've got to move out.’ She said.
‘Umm, why did you just call me sis? And why are you giving me orders like we’re in some sort of army?’
‘Long story, it’s not safe here. We need to get back to your place. Now!’ she told me.
Ok so we practically ran back to La Push and she insisted that we lock all the doors and salt every entry way into the house. I didn’t question why, she looked like someone completely different now, someone I didn’t know.
Once everything was ‘secure’ I guess she decided it was safe.
‘Zoe I have to tell you something really important, you swore never to tell anyone or anything.’
‘Yea, I guess.’ I said.
‘Ok, my name isn’t Vanessa, its Morgan Whinchester.’
Wow, ok this was a complete shock to me.
She continued, interpreting my mind babble. ‘Zoe, there isn’t any other way to tell you this, but, your my sister. Your identical twin sister.’
Chapter two
Now this was the mother of all shocks to me! My best friend tells me she isn’t who she is, and that she’s my sister.
Wow, was this a crazy day or what.
‘Ok, so you’re Morgan Whinchester. And you are also my sister. Ok, why didn’t I know this?’
She was thoughtful for a few seconds.
‘Well.’ She said.
‘Somehow in the army you were shot in the head by an unknown being, by an Adamantium bullet.’
Huh? What the hell is that?
‘So I was in the army, got shot by an Anenomie...’
‘Adamantium’ Morgan interrupted.
‘Adamantium, bullet. What has that got to do with anything?’ I was getting frustrated.
‘Oh I’m sorry.’ Morgan said. ‘I forgot to mention. Your name is Jordan, and your skeleton is made of Adamantium, and an Adamantium bullet made you lose your memory.’
‘I have amnesia? But my skeleton is bone. I’m just ordinary Zoe,’
She looked like she was going to lose it. Way worse than Andrew.
‘Alright, I’m done being nice to you, you *edit your post and this will go away* mutt! Jordan! Do you remember anything!?'
‘MUTT!?! Who’s the *edit your post and this will go away* mutt around here!? For all I know you’re not Vanessa but some chick called Morgan trying to tell me my life story!’
‘There’s my Jordz.’ She said that like we knew each other for years after just blew a volcano at her.
She just sat there grinning like a complete idiot.
I was so furious.
What the hell had gotten into Vanessa?
I started to walk back and forth. She just watched me where she stood, with her arms crossed.
The anger in me was just bursting, NO ONE tells me who I should, or who I was in this case.
I couldn’t handle it.
Without me thinking, I just punched the wall. Oddly enough it didn’t hurt. That’s strange.
My fist stayed contacted with the wall, all around my fist, the wall cracked.
I looked at Morgan, she was smirking at me.
I moved my hand away from the wall, OMG! There were 3, yes 3, slits in the cracked dent I made in the wall.
I don’t know why, but I looked at my hand. There were 3 shiny metal silver caws coming out of in-between my knuckles!
I shook my fist; they somehow slid back into my arm, WFT?
‘You wanna know?’ Morgan said, with that friggen smirk across her face, yet again.
Chapter three
‘What the hell is happening to me?’
‘Well for starters, you have three Adamantium claws that come out of both your fists. I don’t know how, but that’s just one of weird things that you, my lil puppy of a sister can do.’ That friggen sarcastic tone in her voice was getting; on my nerves.
‘Ok ‘sis’, what’s with you calling me dog names?’
Shockness replaced the smirk on her face; she was looking like I should have known or something.
‘You haven’t fazed? Weeeell this is going to be awkward.’ She was rubbing her head whilst saying it.
‘Ok, Jordan you’re a werewolf. You just have to get angry or something, and you faze into a wolf that stands as high as you are tall.’
Now this has to be a fib or what.
‘I don’t believe you.’ I said slowly backing away like she had gone bonkers.
Then all of a sudden, she fucken charlied me in the blimmin’ leg!
This set off fireworks in me! Suddenly my already hot body (I don’t know why, I think I have a cold.) got even hotter, and suddenly I felt nakey.
Morgan began to burst out with laughter.
I tried to tell her to shut her yap but it ended up coming out as a snarl. Snarl? Ae?
‘Yea ill shut up, only if you look at yourself.’ She said that while wiping her eyes.
Why should I look at myself? Was there something wrong?
So I looked at myself. OMG! I had paws! Fur! Oh no, not a, TAIL!
I’m a Wolf!
‘You don’t need to go all hysterical, just think about being human, but first find some clothes. I know we’re sisters and all, but I don’t want to see you nude.’
So I found some clothes, and thought of my humanity. Oddly enough I was human again. I got changed and went back to the living room and found Morgan.
She was sitting on the couch, and was sucking on what looked like a bag of blood. Grose. OMG! I saw some fangs on that girl’s gob. I must have looked shocked because she looked at me with a questioning look.
Chapter four
‘Oh yea, I’m a vampire. Oh and to answer your question about your body temp, werewolves are naturally hot, like they’re their own heating system.’
‘You’re a vampire?.... well that explains the blood sucking, but what about before? When you were like answering what I was trying to say to you when I was a blimmin wolf?’
‘Yeh, oh I can mind read. And I’m a werewolf, like you, and demon and angle, as well like you.’ She said it as if it were normal.
‘So you’re saying I’m werewolf, angle and demon?’
‘Well, yeh. I can’t tell you the details on how you use your powers and stuff.’
‘Like my claws?’
‘Yea, sorta.’ As she said that she turned back to her blood bag.
Suddenly two guys came barging in through my locked door.
‘Does she remember yet?’ the rugged leather jacket wearing man asked.
‘NAH, not a damn thing. But she discovered she’s a wolf and that she has Adamantium claws.’ Morgan told the feral, rugged looking man.
‘Or you made her so angry that she did.’ the nicer looking guy said to Morgan as he was moving closer to her.
‘Sorta.’ Morgan said chuckling. .
‘Hey Jordz, you remember me?’ the rugged looking man asked me.
‘Ummm, should I ?’ I said wearily.
‘Heck yes! I taught you most of what you know about your Adamantium claws and stuff.’
It took me a while to think of a name that would suit him the most. When I did I said, ‘Lance?’ it took a lot of brain straining to say that.
‘No, but close enough.’ He then laughed. ‘It’s Logan.’ He said to me.
‘Lance!? Wow at least she sorta remembers you.’ The other guy said.
‘She’s known me for years. That’s longer than you.’
‘I know that Logan. I’m a monster, not a moron.’ The nice guy said to Logan.
That made me laugh. All that bickering must have triggered a memory of mine, because I remembered who the nice looking guy’s name was!
‘Nate?’ I asked the nice looking guy.
‘Oh HAHA Logan. She got it first shot!’ he said to Logon, like he had won a bet. ‘Heck yea, that me alright.’ He then said to me. Then he was trying to make himself look all buff at Logan.
‘Somehow that fighting between them made me remember’ I said a loud.
‘I see.’ Logan said.
‘Ever since I met this kid, he’s always thought he was better than me...’ Logan told me.
‘Uh sorry to interrupt you, mate, but you always think you’re better than me!’ Nate said to Logan. Then they broke into some sort of arm wrestle.
Morgan sighed, ‘boys these days.’ She said.
My neighbour (and mate) Brooke came rushing in through the open door.
‘Where’s the party at people!?’ she asked Morgan and me.
‘I heard a heap of noise like a P.A.R.T.Y was a happening.” She explained.
‘Sorry Brooke, not this time.’ Morgan told her, pretending to be Vanessa.
‘Ok next time then.’ Brooke said in her bubbly way. She smiled and walked back out.
Chapter five
I faced Morgan again and asked.
‘So is Andrew something paranormal too.?’
Morgan chuckled. Then said, ‘No. He’s some nerd you became friends with.’
‘He’s no nerd.’ I threw right back at her.
‘Ok ok, settle down pup.’ She hand both hands in surrender while she said that.
‘So what was that ‘come to me fire’ thing back there?’ I asked her, being curious.
‘Oh I have powers. Cool ae. I can manifest all five elements, read minds, as you know, and other stuff.’ She said all proud of herself.
Wow a psychic for a sister.
‘I want to try something.’ Morgan said to me. But I couldn’t answer her for some reason.
I couldn’t move. It was like my limbs were frozen. I saw everything, but couldn’t do anything.
I was looking at Morgan.
I could hear her say to me ‘get me a woody.’ But she wasn’t moving her lips.
What was happening?
Suddenly I felt a strong power run through me and it somehow made me move.
The power was making me walk to the fridge and make me grad a Woodstock and take it back to Morgan.
That experience made me remember, I can now remember a lot.
‘Thanks Jordz, you’re so nice.’ Morgan said out loud this time so the boys could hear her.
Then I heard her in my head again whispering to me commands.
‘Say you’re welcome Morgan.’ She said in my head.
And the suddenly the power that ran through my body made me say exactly what she told me to.
And then the power and the stiffness was released from my body and I was in control again.
’I wish you doing that Morgan! I hate it when you control me!’
‘Ah ha, my brilliant plan worked!’ she said excitedly.
;I wouldn’t call it brilliant.’ I said sarcastically to her.
‘You only do that so you can see her awesome Adamantium silver eyes, ae Morgz.’ I heard Nate say behind me.
‘Not always.’ She said to Nate innocently.
‘What else can you remember?’ she asked me.
‘Well, I know I don’t like to smile, and that you pick on me, and that my eyes change colour with my moods. You mind controlling me must have triggered my memory like off of those pitiful drama programmes.’ I said in a rush.
‘That’s where I got the idea from.’ Morgan said guiltily.
‘That’s it! Your minds sorta back..’ Nate said to me.
‘I think so, but I don’t know what had knocked us down back on the footpath.’ I said aiming what I had said to Morgan.
‘I wish you didn’t say that in front of them.’ Morgan said in my mind.
‘Sorry’ I mouthed.
She pulled the evils at me. Damn sisters.
‘Again? Morgan you got to tell me when those creeps come at you.’ Nate said to her sternly.
‘They’re only after me because I know something that satin doesn’t want me to know. I burned him anyways.’ Morgan assured Nate.
Chapter six
‘Who are the creeps?’ I asked.
Everyone looked at me as if I was meant to know.
‘Those ‘creeps’ are Demon Hawks’ Logan tried to explain.
‘Demon Hawks? Why are they after Morgan?’ I asked.
‘They’re after her because she knows information that concerns Lucifer.’ Nate sounded unhappy when he explained that to me.
‘Lucifer? As I n the Devil himself?’ I asked.
‘Yea, oh and it’s something bigger than he could possibly imagine! Get it? He’s short!’ Morgan said bursting with laughter.
‘Yeea, you need to work on that.’ Me and the boys said together.
Then out of nowhere a large black feathered thing came smashing through the window and tackled me to the ground.
Morgan then whispered in my mind.
‘Man they know how to get me angry. No one hurts my family except me. Jordz u alright?’ it must have been instinct because I replied in my head by thinking ‘yes.’
Then in the blink of an eye Logan had his Adamantium claws out and thrashing the ugly creature in a feral way. Morgan was wrestling it after Logan practically shredded it to pieces.
Nate was trying to get me to my feet with a little effort. ‘I forgot how heavy you are.’ He breathed to himself, but I couldn’t resist saying,
‘Yea, put on a lil weight recently.’
He laugh a lil as I got myself to my feet real quick like a canine. Then he teased ‘bloody Adamantium, can’t live with it, can’t live without it ae.’
Then he looked back at the other two, and then to me.
‘I have to get you outta here.’
‘I can help, can’t I?’
‘No, you haven’t remembered how to fight yet. You need to come with me.’ He said as he had a hold of my arm in a tight grip and practically dragged me to the woods and out into a clearing.
‘We should be safe here. Or what do your instincts tell you?’ Nate was asking me. But I couldn’t get my head around how fast he moved me from the house to where we were.
‘Umm my instincts? Oh yea. I feel safe I can’t hear...’ I cut off. Nate looked at me with a worried questioning look.
‘What is it?’ he asked me in a whisper.
‘I smell something. It smells like ash. Can you?’
He sniffed the air. ‘I do now.’ He said.
‘It’s getting closer, oh stink! It’s getting stronger.’ I covered my nose while I said that.
‘I know. You need to hide.’ He said to me calmly.
‘Where?’ I asked him.
‘Get in a tree or something. Now!’ he then ordered.
I guess I had to.
I climbed to about the third branch of a huge Fur tree and looked down to watch Nate standing in the clearing.
‘Come out coward! Show yourself!’ he yelled at nothing.
Then a horrible Hawk like creature came out of the dense trees. I’m guessing it
Was a Demon Hawk. I never actually saw the ones that tackled me to the ground, until this one.
Its top was Hawk and its bottom half was human. It wore pants (thank goodness) but it clearly had no fashion sense.
As it walked up to Nate, it was saying. ‘Wheresss Morgan? Mussst bring Morgan to massster.’
‘OVER. MY. DEAD. BODY.’ Nate threatened in a crouched position ready to fight.
‘Okay then.’ The creature said.
Then it launched itself at Nate from where it stood, about 10 metres away.
Nate dodged the attack, but the bird caught his shirt. It flung itself around and got Nate into a strangling position.
Making Nate choke.
I thought I had to do something. I dint know if Nate was in trouble or not.
I did remember that Nate had powers when Morgan mind controlled me. I just didn’t want to say.
Without thinking, I lunged out of the tree. Claws barred. And I landed behind the monster and started thrashing at the Demon Hawks back.
I guess I hurt it enough for Nate to get free. I stopped attacking when Nate put his hand up like he was silencing me. Nate then faced the creature and in one slick movement Nate finished him off.
Chapter seven
‘Thanks foe that Jordz.’ He said when he was rubbing his throat.
‘No prob. I thought you had him. But it looked like you needed help.’ I said.
‘Yea I did.’ He looked bummed out when he said that.
That shocked me because Nate is like me and my sister. He’s Vampire, Demon, Werewolf and Angle. I thought he could handle it.
‘Those Demon Hawks are pretty tough. If they get you in their hold its pretty hard to get out of. It must be cause we have Demon in us.’ He laughed at what he said. ‘It’s better to fight them in pairs. That’s why I don’t like Morgan out by herself.’ He finished saying as he burnt the rest of the Dodo.
Morgan and Logan came rushing through the night towards us.
‘Did that thing hurt you?’ Nate asked Morgan.
‘Course not. Logan started, I finished, easy. No need to be a worry wart. Gosh.’ Morgan said to Nate.
‘Hay at least this boyfriend cares.’ Logan told Morgan.
‘Yea, whatever.’ She mumbled. Concentration ran across her face. ‘Hey Jordz. I hear you got some action.’ She was looking at my fists while saying that. But I knew she read my mind.
‘Uh, yea. Just a lil boxing, no biggy.’ I was franticly wiping the gungy blood off of my fists onto my jeans while I said it.
‘A lil boxing? More like thrashing the wazoo out of a butchered pig more like.’ Nate said in a teasing tone.
‘If it weren’t for you that bird would have taken me back to Hell with it.’ Nate explained.
‘And I’ll be right behind him, pulling out those ugly tail feathers.’ Morgan said. Probably threatening any other pesky Demon Hawks nearby.
The boys and I got back to my place after some fitness training. (As they liked t call it.) They said I could handle it. Or they were thinking that it might bring back some more memories. It sorta did. I now know that I am fast and very, very strong.
Morgan didn’t tag along because she was hungry. I think she just couldn’t be bothered exercising.
I walked through the door before the boys, and I saw this huge black Demon Hawk in the middle of the living room. I thought it had broken in and crawling up to Morgan, who in fact was sprawled out on the couch, and she looked like she was sleeping. As I walked further into the house readying myself for attack, I saw that the bird man was binded with chains around his wrists, waist and his legs.
When I noticed that, I noticed as well that Morgan being her usual lazy self had a hospital bag of blood ripped open and she was drinking out of it like it was a soft drink. I wondered what it tasted like.
‘What are you doing?’ Nate had asked angrily.
‘What do you think I’m doing? I’m chelaxing while I think of how to torture him.’ She said sarcastically while facing the Demon Hawk.
I chuckled ‘how are you going to hurt him? Do they even have nerves?’
‘Easy.’ She said happily. ‘We are part demon so we can hurt them. So, I could just pull out his feathers, one by one, or file down his beak.’ Then she gasped.
Chapter eight
‘I know the perfect way to torment him. ‘She said with a snickering smile and turning to face the Demon Hawk.
I faced the Demon Hawk also. The Demon Hawk actually looked scared at Morgan said about him. The shock on the Dodos face actually made me feel a bit sorry for him.
‘Demon Hawks don’t like light. Especially the sun light, they burn up in it. And fire, they don’t like fire.’ After Morgan said that she chuckled evilly to herself, like she was a mad scientist.
‘I shall torch his feathers until he spills.’ She said in a dark tone.
‘How could I ever forget how evil you are.’ I thought out loud. Even though she would of heard it in my mind. Logan started to reply to what I said, but I cut him off by glaring evilly at him.
‘She’s getting some of her evilness back Nate, watch out’ Logan whispered to him. Nate smiled and nodded.
Nate then turned his attention to Morgan.
‘Ok. So when do we start?’ Nate asked Morgan.
‘Well I thought we could start about now. Unless you wanted to kindly ask him first.’ She said to him sarcastically.
She was heading to a draw, probably looking for a bright as torch and some matches.
‘I will.’ I said a lil to eagerly.
‘Knock it outta him Jordz.’ Morgan teased.
‘Ok Mr Demon Hawk. We can do this the easy way, or the hard way.’ I guess my eyes changed colour with my evil mood as I talked to him, because he looked at me in shock.
‘Ok, ok don’t blaze me! Don’t eat me either!’ he cried. He sounded more human than the other one. Eat him? Oh he saw my teeth. Geeze I hated it whenever I met someone and they see my fangs and think that I’m a monster. Huh, I remembered something.
‘I won’t eat you. Just tell me why your here.’ I interrogated him like a CSI detective.
‘M-master sent me. He wants Morgan.‘ the Demon Hawk said sorta calmly. Then in a rush he said, ‘please don’t burn me! I’ll tell you anything you want!’
‘What’s your name.’ Morgan surprised me by saying that. She’s not the negotiating type. She had found a lighter and she was flicking it on and off. Show off.
‘m-my name is Bakuna.’ The Demon Hawk said wearily.
‘Gosh Jordan!’
‘What?!?’
‘You’ve my fun away!’ Morgan yelled at me and kicking the couch. When she was upset or angry, it was best not to be near her, better the couch than me.
‘Oh well, Bakuna is reasonable.’ Nate said. He was sitting on the couch, on the other end of where Morgan kicked it.
Morgan then glared at him.
‘But then it would of been fun to watch him suffer.’ He quickly added. Clearly not wanting to fight with Morgan.
‘Now what do we do?’ Logan asked. He was still in the doorway looking to scared to come into the house any further. He was probably scared of the Demon Hawk. Sissy.
‘I guess we burn him.’ Morgan said, acting like she had a pitchfork like an angry villager off of Shrek.
‘No! I will help you with whatever you want! Just don’t kill me!’ Bakuna cried.
‘Okay.’ Morgan said in a huff.
‘Ok? So we keep him?’ Logan asked in an anxious tone.
Then I just suddenly knew where Morgan was coming from. It must be that paranormal link we have.
‘Well we could ask Bakuna where Lucifer is.’ I said looking at Morgan’s point of view.
‘You heard her. Where’s Daddy?’ Morgan was up in his face looking right up in Bakuna’s golden eyes when she said that.
‘In Forks. He’s at the High School. The High school is closed for Winter break.’ Bakuna said, like he was telling us directions in a busy city.
‘That means Cullens.’ Nate said to Logan and Morgan. Clearly something I wouldn’t know.
‘If Jordan meets up with them, not remembering who they are I might add, her werewolf instincts might kick in and she might just start yet another brawl.’ He said in a rush.
‘Cullens?’ I asked him. I wanted to know what the hell he was on about.
‘My point exactly.’ Nate said gesturing to me with his arm.
‘We’ll make sure she remembers them by then.’ Logan said to Nate. He was still watching Bakuna carefully.
‘Yeeh.’ Morgan said hastily.
‘Show us the way Bakuna.’ Nate said to the bird man, while he was breaking the chains that were on him.
Bakuna then burst out of his crouched position and shot passed Logan out the door.
‘Follow mee.’ Bakuna yelled down to us from up in the pitch black sky.
‘We’re commin!’ Morgan yelled from inside the house. Grabbing her guns and whatnot.
Then we raced after Bakuna. We followed him all the way to the school. I guessed no Cullens were around because I didn’t feel feral.
‘I hear him laughing.’ Nate whispered.
Logan was the one to unlock the door. He unlocked it by using one of his claws on his right fist to slip into the crack of the door and slipping upwards to cut the lock. (Don’t you love a love it all? Hehe)
Bakuna came to the ground and motioned to follow him. We were all focused on staying close to the leader until he stopped in front. That made us all topple like dominoes.
‘This is as far as I can go. Good luck my friends. I may see you in the future.’ Then Bakuna shot off into the darkness.
Morgan told me to stay close but to let Nate, Logan and herself to do all the work.
‘Ok so I am the bloody spectator to cheer you on.’ I said nearly breaking my whisper. Btu Morgan ignored me and barged through the door.
The boys followed, and I followed them.
Chapter nine
‘Ahhh so my princesses returns to her master.’ This short as guy said in a too deep of voice for his figure. I guessed it was Lucifer, cause the boys and Morgan were growling at him. And from when Morgan made that dry joke about him being short.
‘How many times do I have to tell you. WE. ARE. NOT. YOUR. F*CKEN. PRINCESSES!’ Morgan yelled at Lucifer.
‘So this is how it is then.’ Lucifer said
‘Yes. It. Is.’ Morgan said with attitude.
Then he lunged himself at Morgan. Logan and Nate pretended to attack, but then. Bang! A gun was fired.
I looked.
Lucifer was on the ground.
‘Rest in Peace Rodger Smally.’ Nate said to the short body.
‘Rodger Smally?’ I asked him. I was thinking he was making a dry joke ‘cause of the man’s height.
‘He’s the dwarf that Lucifer possessed.’ He assured me.
‘Oh.’ Was all I managed to say.
‘Well he’ll be back. Lucifer I mean, Snow White and the six Dwarfs will be coming soon to fetch sleepy.’ Morgan said to us.
‘You have to admit that one was funny. Guys?’ her words echoed in the empty room as we left her with her real dry joke.
AFTERWARDS:
‘It looks like all the Demon Hawks have gone back to hell with daddy now.’ Logan said sounding like he was trying to break the silence after Morgan’s lame Dwarf joke.
‘What’d you shoot him with?’I asked Morgan as we walked back.
‘I shot him with...’ she started to say but then she stopped. We all stopped too.
‘Oh Gawd, I can’t stand it anymore.’ Morgan said frustratingly in the air in front of her.
‘Hey Morg, be nice, she’s only wanting to know cause she forgot, remember.’ Nate quickly said before Morgan could pull my head off.
‘I know but it’s so frustrating!’ Morgan said angrily at Nate.
She turned to face me.
‘Stay still.’ She ordered me.
So I stood perfectly still and she touched my forehead with her index finger like that bloody E.T. guy. Gosh.
Then all I could see was white, it then cleared and I could then remember everything! From how I got my scar over my left eye to why the Demon Hawks were chasing us.
‘Why couldn’t you fucken do that in the fucken first place you fucken blood sucker!!’ I practically growled at Morgan like an angered wolf. Heehee I am one (:.
‘Oh boy, I brought back the old Jordz.’ She breathed.
‘I wanted to see if you could break the mind barrior yourself.’ She said calmly. For a change.
‘More like you wanted to see me suffer and act like an idiot!’ I growled back to her response.
She giggled.
‘Yip.’ Morgan said. With a beaming smile on her blimmin face.
How many times do I have to say this?
Bloody Sisters!