Lost Love Notes

I close my eyes and relax onto his lap

I lean my head back. I could feel the wolf inside me yearning to be out, but it was always out of reach. Like I was at a zoo looking at it with glass between us. Until I proved myself, I would always be stuck there.

I felt his sorrow. My wolf didn't like him being sad. I lick his cheek again

I smiled at her. "Sorry, my wolf is going insane. Everytime I get near another wolf it shows up and I reach for it, but its like hitting glass. I wish I could just prove that I'm reliable to have it." I said. I couldn't even tell what she was saying to me. If I had it, I would need to turn to know what she wanted to say.

I nod and go around the corner to shift again. I come back, "I'm sorry"

"Don't be. Your wolf is beautiful. I hate that it makes mine want to join you, but I'm not sure for what reasons he had in mind. I can't even talk to it anymore. I know he doesn't understand why I can't reach him, and I don't like it." I said as she sat down. I pulled her into my lap. "But I love your wolf, so don't feel sorry for showing it to me." I whispered to her.

"My wolf likes being with you it keeps her calm" I look up at him, "Why did they do it?"

"I wasn't into being in my pack. I didn't like taking orders and I didn't want to follow the rules set for a pack. I found out some stuff about the elders and knowing my background they sealed him away. I don't even remember what I found out anymore." I said. It felt like forever ago when its only been two years.

"Maybe we can bring your wolf out"

I looked at her. "How?"

"What if we find his mate?"

"I was wondering if thats why he should up when your wolf was here. He wasn't going frantic, but I think its because its been two years and going frantic never helped him back then. He did feel anxious around her. Like I am when we're not together, which was why I came to see you today. You make a boring day fun." I smiled at her.

I laugh a little, "I bet I could get your wolf to come out...even if its just for a little bit"

"So far he's as out as he can be right now." I said, tthough I got this feeling that he was getting even more anxuous, I got a clear picture of him in my mind pawing the ground then pacing and whinning.

I smile and kiss him quickly, "How'd your wolf feel about that?"

"He whimpered at you. He's begging for you to release him from his cage. And when you do to show your wolf." I said. He kept pawing the ground and pacing faster.

"My daddy is an Elder...I can ask about it...unless there is a way for me to release you"

"Maybe. Your dad did this to me, so maybe he wanted me to meet you and learn from you. Or maybe he wanted a mate for his daughter." I smiled at her.

"Wouldn't surprise me my dad is always trying to do that to me. Says I need to settle down and start a family"

"Settle down yes; family, later.m You're still young, I don't think its time for you to start working that angle." I said. I was young too, but old enough to consider family.

"My father is old fashioned"

"Tell him you're still searching." I said.

"You won't get your wolf back than..."

"If you say you're still looking? Tell him you're hoping to find it in me if you want, we've both got problems we need to fix. Both just happen to involve your dad." I said and wolf felt like it was growling at me. "He's angry now."

"Why?"